Wasting time with Jet

Well the summer's in the bag right around now, time to look back with a shameless awards ceremony I can only call... The JET AWARDS!


Category:Movies

Disappointment of the Summer:"Star Wars:Episode III:Revenge of the Sith"

Waited so long, and was not satisfied with the end result, George, you owe us more!!!!

Best movie of the Summer:"Crash"

Hands down, best movie since "Sin City" back in April, and almost as good as "Constantine" for Best of 2005 so far, "Crash" is the slap in the face that brings us back to reality. We would all like to believe that in the 21st century race relations are at an all time cool period, but lets be real here, I'm glad someone had the balls to make a movie like this and even star in it, hopefully it'll get some props from Oscar and the Golden Globes.

Best shot in the Arm/Franchise Rejuvenator:"Batman Begins"

The brits give the Cape Crusader a makeover and it works. With an improved, comic-book adapted orign on how Bruce Wayne became the Dark Knight and cunning adversaries (Rather than glorified neon & glitzed carbon copies of corny James Bond villans), "Batman Begins" kicks butt. Bale oozes as yuppie billionaire by day, dark avenging angel at night. Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman almost steal the show by offering some light comedy relief in suportive roles. Did I forget to mention Tom Cruise's girlfriend is in it too? Rumors are already flying around to bring back the Joker for the next one, but I hope they don't...no one could beat JACK!, not Mark Hamil, or Crispin Glover!, C'mon! Get martin short to be The Mad Hatter, get Patrick Stewart or Sir Anthony Hopkins to play The Ventrilquist, or recycle the Bane Villan, he was badly used as a goon in Batman & Robin, and speaking of Robin...LEAVE him out! Unless they use a kid Robin played by the Sixth Sense kid, THAT would be cool...

Best New Addition to the All Growing Marvel Comics Cinematic Franchise: “Fantastic Four"

Some people thought it was cheesy, but when it comes to the FF, the movie did the comic justice. I mean, The Fantastic Four are the Granddaddy of Marvel Comic Book Heroes, Before Spider-Man, and The X-Men, it was the Fantastic Four, they were the Neil Armstrongs of Super Heroes. They're the most famous and commercial oriented Marvel Characters in their universe. No Secret Identity, everybody knew who they were, appreciated by the public and press alike, the only thing that drove them nuts was themselves, but despite the hostile chemistry, their teamwork saved the day from the most cosmic of villains. Now, I know they're not going to introduce a certain "Planet Eater" or his silver herald with the surfboard, but one must wonder what other villans will be thrown in the mix to face "Stretch", "Suzie", "Mr. Clobbering Time!" and "Zippo" in part two. Guess, we'll have to wait and see...

Sweet at first, but very little Aftertaste Movie:"Charlie and the Chocolate Factory"

Boy, did this puppy get old fast? It seems after this "Eye-Candy" of a movie landed on the scene at the halfway point of the summer, we got tired of special-effects heavy blockbusters and TV Show Remakes, that we fell in love with zanny Sex Comedies involving Virgins and Weddings...thanks a lot Tim Burton, we forgave you for "Planet of the Apes" by enjoying your "Big Fish", then you kick us in the nuts again with this...and then you expect us to go and see "Corpse Bride"?

Movies I wish I saw on a date or during a summer fling...

"Monster-In-Law"
"Must Love Dogs"
"The Skeleton Key" (Actually I did see this, but I was alone, and although it didn't scare ME, there are some parts I KNOW a chick would of grabbed me for dear life in fear, it would have been cool...)
“Dark Water”
"Dukes of Hazzard"
"Wedding Crashers"


Action Flops (or regular Flops) I'll wait for cable to see:
"The Island"
"Stealth"
"Kingdom of Heaven"
“Cinderella Man”
“Bewitched”
"War of the Worlds"
"Four Brothers"
"Sky High"
"Rebound"
"The Brother's Grimm"
"Mr. and Mrs. Smith" (Oh, wait, I did see this already...)

The "Barbershop of 2005" Award for movie setting Black people back another 50 years: "Hustle and Flow"

Documentaries I didn't Care About:
"Murderball"
"Rize"
That stupid ass Penguin Movie!

Independent Films I wish I Saw:
“Pretty Persuasion”
“Last Days”
That one with Bill Murray in it…



MUSIC AWARDS TOMORROW!

Having broadband again, I've realized once again joys of high-speed...

Internet radio and watchable porn!

I've gotten aquainted with my old live365.com account, and all my preset stations of depressing, thought inducing, independent chick-rock! Ah, Esthero, how I missed you So!

I've also checked out some cool movie trailers, like The Rock's next movie, based on the infamous computer game series..."DOOM"!

Then I discovered a nice little gem my good ol' smut peddler, Fire's been saving for a rainy day...called "As Red As"

There's nothing like seeing a couple have sex...On a Jet Ski in the middle of the ocean! How freakin cool is that!

But to be honest, there's more than radio and porn, there's downloading TV show and Music Albums! (Insert Hysterical Laughter Here).

I'm like a kid in a candy store...it's all out there! And it's all mine!, MINE!!!

(Exhales)...Whooo, I couldn't breathe for a minute...

In lighter news, Mother dearest endured a 17 hour bus trip from Ohio to return back home at around 11:00 this morning.

Work was light again, but there was enough for me to stay the whole day DUE to my supervisor being recalled back to Jersey again. We're almost done, I wish they let us concentrate on this one last push so I can move on to something else.

After work I reached out to my Aunt in VA and asked her about swinging down there for my birthday. She said she was cool with it if she wasn't working by then. She's taking a break between jobs. Who knows?, I may be on a new job around then myself and may not get the time off, but we'll play it by ear.

My mom told my my sister's cable got cut off, shesh! can she do anything responsible?, I guess not. We got a Tax-Free week on clothes so MOM's gonna try to get all of us to go on a shopping spree this weekend, which will probably spell disaster, worst than anything Hurricane Katrina is doing to New Orleans right about now...worst than the 50 Cent/Fat Joe Beef, and worst than whatever's gonna happen to that damn fool that shot at Suge Knight this weekened (That guy's a dead man, Suge don't play...). Stay tuned for the blow by blow details....

I've notice a unique pattern as I looked back thru all my entries so far (Over 115!, who knew!?!?!), and it seems that I do a quiz almost once a month.

To prove that point (and help a certain ladylong blogger get up to speed about moi!) I've made a list of Quiz Entries or various list of info related to me in someway...

This is not exactly a quiz, but rather a David Letterman-type joke on why I left my previous perm. job in healthcare...It got a lot of laughs from the company and shocked the hell outta them on my sudden departure (two days notice!).

This is the first Quiz (Which is VERY simular to the current one I'm about to do below...).

This one was my corny attempt to make one up based on music, it didn't quite catch on as the others, but I stand by creation.

This one's pretty much a timeline rather than a quiz, it seem pretty cool to do (If you can remember...) so I put it on and challeneged others to do the same.

This post was popular becuase it involved the alphabet, I saw this almost everywhere...

And the most recent quiz which was the most personal one so far, got a few light giggles from the regulars due to my unique answers.

With those highlights done, I'm not doing yet another Quiz...challenged to me by someone else...here we go!

7 Things

Seven things I.......

Plan to do before I die
1. Get my TV Show on the Air.
2. Make sure my Niece doesn't end up like her mother (My Sister).
3. Make a killing by selling my comic books.
4. Figure out the mystery of our family herritage and the source of our fair skin complexion.
5. Find my Biological Father.
6. Go to Africa.
7. Marti Gras.

Things I can do
1. Sleep standing up on the train.
2. See myself living alone for the rest of my life and accepting it.
3. Love a woman whole-heartedly even if she treats me like shit.
4. Go three straight days without sleep.
5. Make peace with god and become a church going christian, again (I CAN, but I won't)
6. Touch the tip of nose with my tongue.
7. Make french fries from scratch.

Things I can't do
1. Bring myself to be decietful or hurtful to a woman and try to "play one out" in a relationship.
2. Get a decient 8 hours of sleep anymore, and don't think I will ever again.
3. Go back to college. I could go back to a trade school, or a education program, but not a regular college.
4. Accept the fact that any of my ancestors were white, or half white. (DESPITE what everyone tells me.)
5. Make peace with my Sister.
6. Forgive my mother for making quit college.
7. Take care of any child under the age of 13.

Things that attract me to the opposite sex
1. Hair
2. Boobs
3. Her Laugh
4. Her ability to carry a conversation
5. Legs, Thighs, etc...
6. Not necessary intelligence, but the ability to teach or show me how to do something new (Like Play Chess, or Pool, something I couldn't get into myself).
7. Did I say "Boobs" before?

Things I say most
1. I'm getting too old for this shit!
2. Fuck you and the Devil! (or Fuck you and the Devil, Too!)
3. GOD, TAKE ME NOW!
4. Hello Dominoes?, Yes, I'd like to place an order for a Medium, Cheese, Dep Dish Pizza...
5. God hates me, that's what it is...
6. I never have anything to wear!
7. Get offa the couch you crazy gully cat!

Celebrity crushes
1. Halle Berry
2. Lil' Kim
3. Selma Hayek
4. Tyra Banks
5. Denise Richards
6. Jennifer Lopez
7. Kimberly Locke (YES from American Idol, what?)

People I want to take this quiz
1. Kimmyk - cuz she likes doing them
2. Fire - cuz he hates doing them :-)
3. PissyBritches - cuz she never does one
4. Um, I can't think of anyone else...
5.
6.
7.

Okay, we're up! 24 Hours a day, 7 Days a week, we never close...

You'd think it'd be the easiest thing in the world, BUT NO!

All it did was cost me my already fragile relationship with my best friend and chance to relieve my growing sexual appetite, BUT NO!

NOTHING EVER GOES ACCORDING TO PLAN!

DAMN!

(Exhales)

Yes, I am posting this at 3 O'clock SATURDAY afternoon, ya'know why?

Becuase Time Warner Cable Technicians are nothing but a bunch of lazy, good for nothin' C**KSUCKERS!!!

I waited all morning friday, got a confirmation call at 12 noon...automated message "Press 1 to confirm, 2 to cancel scheduled appointment." Other than that, I'm screening the rest of the house calls, none of them are for me anyways and MOM's outta town...The place is quiet as a mouse, if anyone knocked on the door, I would of heard it, but first they would have to sign in with the guard downstairs and ring the intercom. I'm chillin, playing Golf on my PSP, and then at 2:30, the machine picks up the phone and some dude says "YeahTimeWarnerCableit'stwothirdyIcan'tgetin...YougottareschedueBye...*Click*..." The message was at least 15 seconds, it took another 15 before I realize who that was, I pick up the phone screaming at the dial tone...the slam it down and go downstairs to the lobby.

I asked the guard if anyone tried to buzz my apartment, he said no, I asked if he saw the cable guy come in the building at all, he said no, I ran back upstairs. I call Time Warner again, it's 2:35, now...The operator tells me a tech just logged in his report that he tried the "HOUSE" at 2:30 and no one answered. I explained to him that this was an multi-story apartment complex, not a house with securty guard in the lobby and an intercom system. The operator admits that the tech's report is very "vague" and after putting me on hold for 20 minutes, he says they can't do a "Turn-Around". My theory is the asshole was getting behind on his appointments, decided to call ahead and see if anyone was home and when the machine picked up, he used that as an excuse not to even make his way to the place and go on the next appointment, lazy asswipe! So the operator reschedules for Today between 10am and 2pm. I say fine without even thinking about JOE's party!

So, its saturday morning now, and I feel like shit because I know I'm not going all the way out to LI (Long Island) in the middle of the day. The trains suck after a certain point and it's a long trip in the first place. Usually, I'd take the 10:39am train out to Port Jefferson (Transfer halfway..) and get there by 12:45pm. JOE'd be there to pick me up and it's another 15-20 minute drive to his neck of the woods. A couple years back a round trip ticket on a non-rush hour period would be 16.50, now it's 19 bucks flat. To even go out there on occasion SHOWS what a good friend I am, Especially since he NEVER comes around the old neighborhood anymore. Now his wife is throwing this damn party for him, she told me a month in advance it'd be on Labor Day Weekend, and then changes it two weeks ago. She planned to welcome vistors around 2pm, give them time to come out and since you figure it takes forever to get back in the city, they start going back by 6.

Well, here I am, waiting for the cable-shmuck to fix these wires and get my Road Runner going, knowing damn well, Imma miss this party. I call JOE in his cell phone, I called him yesterday on the job, but he was so damn busy, he rushed the conversation. I told him I'm not gonna make it and that his wife's gonna be pissed with me, he shrugs it off. We go way back, and this really means nothing to him, it's the misses that's going ga-ga. I still feel I'm in the doghouse with her...I mean, WHAT wife likes her husband's friends anyway, right? She still thinks I'm a bad influence on him, on HIM!...PLEASE!

So anyways, the guy finally buzzes at 12:30 and I sing "Hallelujah". The guy looks around while I nerviously explain the hook-up and my grandfather's handy-work. He doesn't sweat it thank goodness and proceeds to work the wires. The ones in me and MOM's room were too weak the carry the modem signal. He took the cable modem out of my room and put it near the TV in the living room, ironically, the room with the rarely used TV was the only place the modem would work after some brief modifications (Probably because it's the original hook up). I either had to move my computer, or use the very long network wire supplied by the Self-Installation Kit. The choice was clear. I'd just have to pry it up near the ceilling to make sure no on trips on it. At 1:45 I was offically on, he said his good-byes and that was it.

I tested out the connection and speed by downloading an episode of "Medium" using BitComet, it was pretty good (Not Optimum Online-in-the-Bronx Good, but Good). I then checked the schedule on the LIRR, There was a 3:19 train that would get me there by 5:30, what the hell would be the point?

I was so pissed, if they came yesterday, I was going to call my Blue Fairy and set up a 10pm Rendezvous and then go to JOE's party today sexually high-as-a-kite.

BUT SHIT NEVER GOES ACCORDING TO PLAN, DOES IT!?!?

Them's the breaks, I would try and go tonight, but I feel too guilty. JOE's like the only friend I got in the world, and despite all the times he's left me hanging, 9 times outta 10 I've been there for him.

You know?, there's always MY birthday to get a lil-somethin' somethin', even though it falls on a Tuesday this year.

And I still wanna get away from it all for a little bit. I gotta put in a call to my Aunt down in VA and see how's she's doing...

My broadband connection came at high a price, but damnit it was worth it, I'm going to download Kanye West's second album and G-Unit's Tony Yayo, and maybe start up the ol' job search now that I have unlimited online access...



"Let's see what's Out There...Engage!"

If all goes well today, I should be crusing the web at sub-light speeds and CANCELING by dial-up subscription instantly.

The cable people are coming between 2-6 (Which means around 4:30) and I got make the place accessable and take care of things...

A) Gotta drop off my Illegal box to my downstairs neighbor.

B) Gotta hide all my File-Swapping programs (Kazaa, WinMX, BitComet) on my desktop.

C) Gotta move the cats to the terrace so they don't act up when the cable guy does his thing.

Mom called yesterday from Ohio, the bus trip turned out okay. She had a nice long conversation with the person sitting next to her for about 7 hours (I swear, she could strike up a conversation with a serial killer and be interested in their work.)

Also got a call from McDonald's 'bout my PSP...I had left out some employment info on the form and they wanted to make sure I didn't wotk for Sony or McDonald's. I guess my PSP's on the way, FINALLY!

*sigh* today feels like such a waste, waiting for this guy to fix everything, I wish there's was something for me to do! Maybe travel up to Westchester and see how some of my former co-workers up in the healthcare field are doing...or do some clothes shopping out in Jersey for the Fall.

I gotta get my niece's birthday gift, a VHS Copy of "The Muppets' Wizard of OZ" with Ashanti. That child's seen that movie a million times since we taped it off TV back in May, it'd be nice to get her a copy without any commercials. Every year I get her a new movie on VHS for her birthday. It's the easiest type a gift. Last year I brought the Live-Action "Peter Pan", before that it was "Lito and Stich", the year before that, "Finding Nemo". I started the movies-type gifts after I brought her a tricycle when she was 3 and one of my sister's hoodlum friends brought her a big-wheel that my niece ended up prefering. Birthday's can be such a bitch!, that's why me and JOE we have an understanding, we don't need any gifts to show we care...just be there for the celebrations and that's it.

Once my broadband connection is set up, I have a cool blog post set in mind, sorta "Inside the Blogger's Studio" post where I get interviewed for about 20-30 questions. If anyone's curious and wants to add a question, feel free to email me a question about me and I'll put it on.

Well, that'a bout it for me...I got some work to do, now...

Pray for me!

I've been reading my usual collection of blogs (Fire's, Kimmyk's, LadyLong, LadyRed, Prissy, Home Detention Lady, yadda, yadda yadda...and I've notice a lot of picture posts recently. I've sorta shyed away from any personal pics posts due to my last one not getting one laugh, giggle, or response (I take that personally!). I felt like Dr. Evil in "Goldmember"..."Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my submarine lair. It's long, hard and full of seaman!....No? Nothing? Not even a titter? Tough sub..."

DEspite all that, I've decided to give it a try again...

I took a lot of pictures while on the Circle Line Cruise around the city...lets take a peek...




Lady Liberty...it's very hard to center a pic when you're on a moving boat





There's a children's book called "The Little Red Lighthouse, and the Great Grey Bridge" . It's a great book that teaches you that even small things can do big important jobs. The Great grey bridge in question is The George Washington Bridge, and right underneath it, there really IS a little red lighthouse! Read the book, and hopefully one day if you're in the city, you can look for it!




This is PEANUT, my mother's big, fat, lazy cat that makes Garfield look like superman! The Jabba the Hut-like tabby can barely fit in his plastic blue bed box. (PS, your eyes do not decieve you, YES that is a 1982 TOMYTRONIC Tron Tabletop antique video game. Most of the paint's faded, but it still works, my best score:5,734 points)

If ya'll notice the time of this blog entry, you might wonder what the hell am I doing home so early. Well, the work's dying down again. We're down to the last 70,000 pages or so and they're being slow about digging them up. One records clerk gave my supervisor the next set of files to be scanned in a damn file cabinet drawer. He got grease stains from the hinges and everything! I was like, "Dude, they gotta find some boxes to put that stuff in! We can't scan from a drawer!" So, after some reasoning, they said they'll find some. I was done with what I could by 1:30pm and it was agreed upon that it would be a day after before enough work could be generated, but I had the cable people coming friday so I decided to take the rest of the week off. By Monday the last few files SHOULD be ready and then all will be done.

After that?...Who knows?

I might get recalled by to Seacacus, New Jersey, but not looking forward to that at all. Worse case scenario, I'll ask for a month to myself to look for a scanning gig elsewhere in the city.

So, here I am, home already. MOM's going down to the Bus Station tonight to take a Greyhound to Dayton, Ohio for a wedding this weekend. She'll be back monday. Both my little niece and my best friend JOE have the same birthday this weekend. Psycho-Sis's gonna do something private after 7 crazy years of birthday party diasters. Meanwhile, out in Long Island, JOE's wife is having a big party for his 30th. The Big 3-0..that punk would get to grow old a month before me.

SO, mom's gone, no work, no sister or niece to be bothered with...WHAT IS A BROTHER TO DO WITH HIS SPARE TIME!?!?!?!?!

There's only one thing on this brother's mind and that's SEX!

So, maybe a nice 2pm appointment Thursday afternoon with my Blue Fairy, or maybe perhaps something more daring like another young lady in Jersey City I've been doing some reseach on...

THEN again, with my unstable employment position, one should be mindfull of such expensive ventures.

But the timing is just so perfect, "no one will ever know" the five most beautiful words in the english language.

It's something to think about...

In the meantime, it's a surfing I wil go, enjoying the phone to myself, I plan to pick up some new tunes and helpfull downloads...

Part 2

Where was I?, oh yea, Friday.

I manage to get to work and perform functionally without showing a hint of psychological damage to my mental state (I'm good at hiding the scars..). After work I head down to a Time Warner Cable Xpress Center on 23rd Street. Now, I only wanted to ask some questions, I didn't think I'd get the damn Self-Instalation Kit myself without producing a bill or something, BUT they didn't seem to care. I named the address, the phone number and an ID to prove I was in the household and BOOM, the kit was mine. If only other things were this easy in life...but I spoke too soon.

It didn't hit me till the bus ride home, that our cable hookup isn't exactly normal. My grandfather was a genius, a man ahead of his time, he managed to jury-rig a single household cable feed to two other rooms in the house unbeknown to the company. Our hookup has been that way with no service maintence for over 30 years, or maybe 20, I don't know, as long as I could remember...

MOM says that after I moved out and she had her second roommate, he requested the company visit the house to improve his frail wires and they did with no incident, that was over three years ago, who's to say things won't be diferent now?

So, I get home, praying that everything works, when naturally, it does't. I may not be as sharp as my grandaddy, but I'm no dunce, either. I try all possible hook-ups and other drastic ideas and suddenly the whole house looks like one of those decks of a ship in the movie "The Matrix" or Doc's Lab in "Back to the Future"...wires everywhere, computer componets lined across the floor, it's a mess. I worked so hard to get this broadband connection up and running, but it's no use. Saturday morning I try again and then call the cable company for some help. They send test signals over the line but the modem doesn't respond, It doesn't acknowlege the PC Link, nor the Cable Link. My PC registers a broadband connection but the internet does't load up. I break out my router and try setting up a hub, hell, might as well get a network up between my Laptop, the PC, and maybe an old PS2 or new PS3...nothing. The cable wires are not sending enough of the signal to the modem, looks like the cable company's gonna have to make a visit.

After throwing in the towel, saturday evening, I start to think if it's worth it...maybe I should take the damn kit back and just keep dealing with dial-up. MOM says nothing'll go wrong if they come, she's sick of me blocking up the phone lines anyway, she didn't seem to mind when it comes to looking things up online for her or downloading corny music for her dipstick friends and co-workers!

So, this afternoon after waking up, I set up an appointment for thr 26th. Ironically, that's the weekend of the wedding mom's going to in Ohio AND my niece's birthday weekend away at Merytle Beach (Sp. Chk), AND JOE's birthday. To be all alone this coming weekend, I was thinking of making some "PLANS", but now this whole broadband thing's got be nervious till then...

Whatta weekend...I should of thought things out before planting the seeds...I hope this don't blow up into anything.

With every victory, there comes a price...

I swear the last 48 hours have been PURE HELL. The last thing good that happened to me was MOM giving me the go ahead for "Road Runner" Thursday evening.

That night, I don't know, man...everything got so emotional.

I don't know where to begin...but Imma try.

I guess it starts back with the job. (As Always.)

We're definately coming near the end now, the files I'm scanning are becoming more recent. (I read an exclusive shooting script to that upcoming movie with the guy from THE ENGLISH PATIENT and Rachel Weisz (Sp. CHeck?) from THE MUMMY called THE CONSTANT GARDERNER. They had to get clearence from the UN for show some smybols on some trucks throught the movie. The UN is mad picky about their logo and the people related to it. They've sued the MTA for having the image of the Head Secretary on a MetroCard just because his name sounds like "Coffee" (His name is Kofi), they even rejected a canadian programer's request to have the UN Logo inserted in a computer "World Domination SIM-Like" Video Game called "Super Power 2", I read the correspondences and couldn't help laughing to myself.

ANYhooo...the job's winding down...so it reminded me of High School, the last couple weeks in june before schools out. There's nothing much to do, but you gotta go anyway, etc, etc...so it go me thinkin' (Daydreaming, really) about me and Deidre the middle two years of high school...

It's embrassing to say this, but I actually recieved awards for perfect attendence in High School for my Sophmore and Junior years. Yep, I went to school EVERY DAY. In the rain, the snow, with stomach aches, fevers, sniffles, the works. What can I say?, Love makes you do stupid things! The two of us were inseparable. Of the eight periods a day, the most classes we had on the same schedule were five. I had a friend who worked the computerized program cards at the begining of the year. Ironically, the only "CLASS" I'd cut was LUNCH. I don't eat meat, and there was nothing else barely edible served back then so I always brought a sack lunch and roam the halls. All we'd do is make out...The back steps, the north tower, the south tower, the Auditorium (When it was empty, of course...), the parking lot between the teacher's cars, behind the handball wall out in the courtyard...we were animals, couldn't get enough of each other. Between make-out sessions, the two of us had to avoid the hall monitors (Or what we called "The Sweeps") trying to catch us, it truely was the time of my life, and the memories are so painfull now...

SO...the job was reminding me of High School, which is why I guess I had that dream Thursday night...

I'm at the pool at Highbridge, me and Deidre are enjoying a swim when I decide to head out and dry off for a little while. She's enjoying the water like a fish and decides to stay in. I head back to the edge when I hear her suddenly call out my name in alarm. I turn around and she's having trouble staying afloat, she's screaming about her leg or something. She goes in a full state of panic, I call and wave for a lifeguard, but there isn't one in sight, a crowd of concerned onlookers appear, but no one goes out to help...So I go back out there, and try my best to reach her, the pool, feels like an ocean now, as she grows beyond my reach. Suddenly, she's gone, I get to where she once was and there's nothing but ripples, I take a deep breath and go under, after my eyes adjust to the water, I see a lifeless body far below. I swim my hardest to go deep and wrap my arms around the figure's chest. I kick up, pulling the weight with me and barely make it up for air. I put my attention to Deidre, she couldn't be under for more than a few minutes, I call to her to wake up, but she's lifeless in my arms...and that's when it hits me, that's she's actually gone.

I startle myself awake at 4:30 early friday morning, not a tear in my eye, not a drop of sweat on my forehead, but unfortunately...I pissed on myself while I was asleep.

How Em-fuckin'-barassing. 30 years old and I still pee the bed, isn't that a line from Cam'Ron in a famous rap song?

Anyway, I've must of had that dream around 6 times since the accident, the same thing happens. This is only the second time I've done it on this sofa bed I've had since I moved five years ago. I change the sheets, and work the "Area-in-question" with ammonia and other chemical solutions allowable with this couch's material (Leather, Pleather, What-ever-the-fuck-ether...), then get a replacement sheet on one side while the other air-dries and realize I gotta get up in a hour or so...

Going back to sleep, I think of the dream...

It never fucking happened. Me and Deidre NEVER went swimming together, I lived in Washington Heights, she lived in Throgs Neck, their miles apart. During summer vacation we just wrote each other letters till the start of school again. It's like some fake memory planted in my head like in that episode of "Voyager". So, I'm lying in bed now, thinking the grief I've been through and think "Why Me?". There are so many other people out there...that have never delt with loss the way I have. They live mediocre lives filled with nothing but repitition and existance. Death is a part of life, but there are some out there that deal with it when it is expected. Losing a parent after they have lived a long life, that's understandable...but to go through such tragedy and know that there are others out there...That have never delt with tragegy, that know just life, just living, they're out there, walking around holding hands, just being happy, just being shiny that they glow, those SHINY HAPPY PEOPLE HOLDING HANDS!...then I realize I'm crying, crying myself to sleep, knowing I have to get up in the morning...and go off to work, that's reminding me of school, and have the same nightmare over again...the vicious circle.

End of Part 1

Part 2 of how fucked up the rest of friday and saturday coming soon.

After months of hinting, begging, whinning, and complaning it finally worked...

I'm getting ROAD RUNNER BROADBAND SERVICE!!!! YAHOOOO!

BIGUPS to my mother's cousin, PAT who talked her into giving in, she will get a lifetime supply of burned CD's and other computer services.

Stay tuned for some drastic changes to this blog in the immediate future.

Whoo.

I've been up since 6am.

I stayed up during the night to make sure a 5 hour dial-up download completed on BitComet.

Freaking mom promised a co-worker I could burn a copy of "Carpenters:Gold - Greatest Hits". 71MB in 6 hours on dial-up, un-be-fucking-lievable. Had I Optimum Online back in the bronx, it would have taken 15 minutes, TOPS. I've been telling mom I want to get "Road Runner" Broadband Service from Time Warner, but she wants me to have a stable job before taking over the entire, measely 60.00 cable bill and adding 29.99 for the next 6 months on it, then jumping up to a whopping total of 109.00 a month (60.00 Plus the regular 49.99 Broadband price.).

She has a point, but I don't care, I can't work with dial-up any longer, Imma about to rip my hair out from my skull!

So, with the album done, I tried to get some shut-eye at 6am...then woke up at noon.

The house was empty at noon, mom took my niece to the pool to cool off. The heat was getting to us the last few days, heat indexes making it feel like 100 or over, no rain in sight (Yet predicted every damn day!) it was just a day to do nothing but sit in front of the fan. But I had some running around to do...

At 2pm I hit the streets for some browsing and window shopping. The streets we ironically empty due to the Dominican Day Parade being held somewhere in the city. I check my music store and still couldn't find any cool music, then checked out the Electronics scene for some DVD's or Games. I'll admit sometimes I'm just looking for something to buy, just to buy...but I also have some sort of self control.

The wind was starting to pick up and clouds were gathering...It didn't take a genius to tell a freak quick summer storm may come our way, so I headed home. I was right, but I was also wrong. by 3pm it got dark and started to rain HARD, with the wind blowing it everywhere, but then it stopped for a while...Then, at 5...the Thunder started and it go serious...

Lightning lit up the air as a REAL storm started. The rain came down in buckets painting the sidewalk chalk white. The thunder cracked in the sky setting off car alarms for blocks away. This one was a doozy, and poor mom had to take my niece back home to my psycho-sis's house in the bronx. She tried to wait it out as much as she could, but the lord wasn't having it today.

As for me, I did some surfing my mom braved the elements. Read some blogs, worked on mine a little bit.

I'm still thinking about what to do about my birthday next month...

I was thinking about getting away from it all and visiting my aunt in VA, or take a trip down to philly, but another scheme is hatching since the re-appearance of certain "female professional" whom I had the pleasure of being in the company with back in feburary.

Okay, I'm not going to beat around the bush anymore, I'm totally obsessed with this escort I had sex with when I was depressed after the eagles loss the super bowl. For the last six months since the encounter, I've been saving *.gif and *.jpeg files from her craigslist postings and trying to find her offical direct phone number rather than the "Cell-Of-The-Week" number she shares with about 4 other girls. I've nicknamed her my "Blue Fairy" like in the movie "A.I.:Artificial Intelligence". I've yearn to see that face again, to feel her again, and finally, after a long exhausted search...I've found her, again.

Is this a healthy way to live?, no...am I crazy to fall for someone like this, yes, I know...it's like walking a tightrope here in this day and age, but it has been six months since that fatefull night and I'm sure a blood test will find me clear of any std's or HIV. So, I'll get myself checked out and set up another "Appointment" just in time for the Big 3-0. It'll be perfect. I could probably get a discount, and maybe bring some toys along...(Popcicle Sticks, some cool whip, a couple of candles (Can you say "Body of Evidence"?), etc, etc...)

Sounds like a plan...I wish I could post a pic on this blog...but I don't have the balls...I am totally gone, though...we're talking "Hannibal Lecter/Clairise"-type feelings...or that Ewan McGregor movie when he's obsessed with Ashley Judd (Eye of the Beholder?, or something...)

I don't know, I may just chicken out and do nothing...it's just another day, right?

I am truly messed up in the head...and the storm outside's not helping.

Thirty Nine years ago...God said "This'll make 'em believe in me..."


I'll never beat you like David did, or cheat on you like Eric did, and even though you can't handle a SUV, I still love you, boo.

This is taken from an article in a local free entertainment guide called "The L-Book", which is the hardest thing to find north of 14th Street. The boxes are on every corner like The Village Voice, but they're always empty! Anyways, check out what fellow New Yorkers are saying about the city that never sleeps...

THE PEOPLE:

New Yorker Closet to Hell: Michael Bloomberg (The Mayor), by a landslide!

Sexiest Newscasters: Man:Matt Lauer (Today Show), Woman:Kaity Tong (WB News at 10pm.)

Best Graffitti Artist: Neckface (He's a bit overrated in my book)

Most Overexposed Celebrity: Paris Hilton (Duh.)

Best Reclusive NYC Celebrity: Woody Allen (I still see 'em at the Knick Games)

Mosst Missed New Yorker: JFK Jr. (Dude had all the money in the world and he still rollerbladed everywhere...gotta miss that.)

THE PLACES:

Best Park: Tompkins Square (I can't believe this beat Central Park!)

Fanciest Bathroom Expirence: Waldorf Astoria (Hey, George Constanza said it himself, can't go against the grain..)

Filthiest Bathrooms: Rothko (What's messed up is I'm going there next week to check out some "Hip Hop Karaoke"...pray for me.)

Best People-Watching Spot: The Union Square Steps (This is true, I don't know if the slackers and skateboarders punch a clock to sit there all day, but there're there!)

The Best Tourist thing to Do even if you're not a Tourist: Walking across the Brooklyn Bridge. (I have never done this because I'm afraid to step foot INTO Brooklyn!)

Best Street Fair: San Gennaro (Sure, Italians drink like the Irish and then jump every black man they see with a white woman, LOTS OF FUN!)

Best Building: The Chrysler Building (Only cuz it's shiny, BAH! Can it change the color of it's lights nightly?)

Best place to have Public Sex: At the Beach (Yawn, try the PATH train to Jersey City!)

THE FOOD

Best 24-Hour Eats: Veselka (Yeah, the food is great, but the lunatics you meet there at 4am!)

Best Diner: Waverly Restaurant (Never been...)

Best Burger: Shake Shack (With a name like that who can argue?)

Best Fries: Pomme Frites (I gotta look into that, stay tuned.)

Best Pizza: Grimaldi's (I'd look into this, too, but it's in brooklyn...)

FOR LOCALS ONLY

Best Train Station: Union Square (All that Alice in Wonderland decor finally gets noticed, huh?)

Worst Train Station: Canal Street (I don't see what's so bad about it...)

Best Train: The L (They say that all the time! It's the cleanest, it's always on time, blah, blah, you know why that train is so damn good, BECUASE IT GOES NOWHERE SPECIAL! It's a cross-town shuttle train in Manhattan, and then goes through the remotest places in Brooklyn and Queens, it is one of the most useless train lines in NYC!

Worst Train: The F (For Failure) (I dunno, it's helped me out in a jam or two...)

Biggest NYC Myth: New Yorkers are Mean ("Where do these assholes get this junk, huh?"...joke, :-) )

Best Parade: Yankees (Though, it HAS been a while, eh?...HA Ha Ha HA HA!)

Worst Parade: Tie Between Puerto Rican Day and St. Patrick's Day (When your breaking some fruit's jaw on the curb or ripping off skimpy tops from defenseless teenagers...you know you're on 5th Avenue!)

Yeah, I know, I'm a victum to peer pressure...

Here we go with another quiz (P.S. Some of these are repeat questions that I've answered before, damnit!)

1. Middle name? Leslie (Well, what did you think "Les" stood for, "Lester"?!?!?)
2. What would you change your name to if you could? Sincere (Got that from Nas in "Belly")
3. Which parent, as an adult, do you like better? Since mom's been the only one in the picture, she gets this by default, but considering how she's ruined my life, she didn't win by much...
4. What is your birthday? September 27th, same as Meat Loaf!
5. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? No, I would be smart enough to leave me alone.
6. What are you nicknames? Les, Jet, Usagi, Bugs, Thumper - whoops, that last one's a pet name!
7. What is your favorite thing about yourself? My sarcastic wit.
8. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? my skin complextion
9. What was the last wish you made? I wished my last job interview led to a cool scanning assignment, THAT DAY.
10. Did it come true? Hell no.
11. How old were you when you lost your virginity? 17, didn't know what the hell I was doing...
12. What was his/her full name? Deidre Lilian Hendrickson
13. What is your favorite movie? "Heat" (1995) It's on my profile!
14. What is your favorite book? I have a couple, for now, I'll say "Jack & Jill" by Patterson and "Black Betty" by Mosley.
15. What is your favorite band now? Toss up between Black Eyed Peas and Gorillaz
16. Who is your favorite musician? MOBY!!!!
17. Your favorite song? "God moving over the face of the Waters" by Moby (The ending song in the movie "HEAT", it will be played at my funeral...)
18. Favorite television show? CSI, the original.
19. Who did you last talk to on the phone? Psycho-Sis
20. Last person you talked to online? A friend from a meetup group I'm in.
21. What is your favorite physical feature of the opposite sex? Hair, or rather yet, Hairstyle...I have a weakness for pigtails...Boobs comes in a close second.
22. Your favorite personality trait of the opposite sex? Ummm, lemme get back to you on this one...
23. What is your biggest pet peeve? Assholes that bring bikes onboard the subway.
24. Do you have a special talent? I can touch the tip of my nose with my tounge (Gene Simmons ain't got nothin' on ME!)
25. What is your favorite smell? Ooooh, I can be REAL dirty with this question...
26. What is your favorite sound? a woman's laugh.
27. If you had to live without one…which one would you choose to not live without –hugs or kisses? Hugs, I hate hugs, give me kisses everyday!
28. What is your favorite season of the year? Fall
29. Your favorite sport to play? Video Game Golf...
30. What is the furthest you have been from your home? Greensboro, North Carolina
31. Favorite vacation spot? Um, What Vacation?
32. If you could wish for one thing –knowing it would come true, what would it be? *sigh* I hate questions like this because I hate to appear greedy...but I'd have to say I'd wish for the ability to go back in time and prevent some tramatic things from happening to me. (The Car Accident, Losing my Job at the Library, etc, etc...)
33. What is your favorite holiday? My Birthday!, Oh, wait, you mean a real one?...um, well, nothing beats Christmas!
34. What color and style is your favorite underwear? Scottish Plaid Boxers, Lassie!
35. Would you ever bungee jump or BASE jump? S'yeah F**king Right!
36. What is your favorite subject to daydream of? Sex or killing all the people that have pissed me off in life.
37. When did you last cry? When the Eagles lost the Super Bowl.
38. Who was your first crush? Opal Robinson, my elderly babysitter's niece, GHAD she was beautiful, she ran away from home when she was 14, lives out in California somewhere.
39. Do you like your job? No.
40. What is your dream job? I had it already, working the Library.
41. Favorite thing to shop for? Computer stuff or General Electronics
42. Favorite food? French Fries.
43. Favorite non-alcoholic drink? Orange Slice, which is now Tropicana Twister - Orange.
44. Favorite alcoholic drink? Don't Drink, girlfriend died in DWI, scarred me for life, won't dishonor her memory.
45. What is your most expensive material possession? Um, my comic book collection?
46. What is your most precious material possession? My PSP, It's...It's...My Precioussssss!
47. Your favorite car that you owned? Don't like cars, girlfriend died in DWI, scarred me for life, terified to ride in cars, now, fear I will die the same way.
48. Your best friend? JOE
49. Your friend that lives farthest from you? Jose "Chino" Perez, We went to Junior High School together with my other 2 close friends. He first moved to Harrisburg, PA, and then down to Florida somewhere, I've haven't heard from him in years.
50. Who is the person, not in your life anymore, you miss the most? Deidre, not a day goes by that I don't think about her. I miss her with every fiber of my being, and the only thing that keeps me going is that I'll see her again one day...

Psycho-Sis got her apartment fumigated finally so my niece doesn't get any flea bites like she did. She plans to bring my little boo-boo to the house again for the weekend like always.

Last night I got an reply email for HealthFirst, apparently they needed someone sooner than later so then called up another person to interview for a position in enrollment. I guess I scared them off when I said call me back in two weeks, ah well, I didn't want that job anyway, parts of me still suffers from 9/11 flashbacks (I plan to tell my tale on the anniversary in September...).

But speaking of work, things hitting a snag a bit. My supervisor's been recalled back to Seacacus for a few days next week. The projection now of when we'll finish has be extended to the first week of September now. Looks like I'll be hanging around at the UN a little bit longer. That's still not stopping me from looking for something else. Once again I haven't heard anything from that temp agency that I registered with last Thursday so that's pretty much a bust.

Today after work I went down to Union Square and window shopped a bit. I don't what the hell I want but I wanted to wander around stores aimlessly for the evening. I went to Barnes and Noble, no new Garfield books, or Foxtrot. Then I went to the Virgin Megastore, but all the latest hot music NOW, I downloaded already three weeks AGO!, I browsed Circuit City and found a nice 5-Disc DVD Player mom could buy for me on my birthday next month. I was really looking a computer game I could play on my PC. I'm so into Hot Shot's Golf on my PSP, I wanted to buy "Hot Shots Golf, FORE!" for the PC, couldn't find it, thou. I took the long way home, thinking I would miss my sister dropping off my niece, but didn't time just right that we got there AT THE SAME TIME!! I got the ususal hugs from my niece and went off to my room.

Saturday's pretty much free, but Sunday I'm going to the movies with a meetup group in the afternoon. Anything to get out of this house now!

Well, after finally seeing "Troy", I felt the urge to catch up some more by renting another movie that I forgot about that I wanted to see, the Love-Triangle soap opera, "Closer", With Jude Law, Julia Roberts, Clive Owen, and Natalie Portman.

"Whoa."

This movie was deep. It took place in England, which was intresting (Nice to see how the others live and all that...), but it was a bit trippy. There were time shifts forward in the movie and there were no captions to explain such. Months go by at one point, then a year, then a few more weeks, etc, etc...it was a bit confusing. Now, if I was looking at this movie myself, I wouldn't mind the language spoken when it came to sex (Quite frankly, for a movie with SUCH dialogue, they were very few sex scenes to go with it!), I mean they kept it real. Those brits don't play when it comes to terminology, so you can imagine what my mom was thinking as she heard all that coarse language. SO, natually I had to add this to a very long list of "Movies I never should of seen with Mom."

Now, I'd like share a few more I've learned from simular past expirences...

10. "I Heart Hucklebees" (Good movie, a bit trippy, but SHE hated it.)

9. "Secert Window" (She loves Johnny Depp, except when he's crazy, or on cocaine, See #8)

8. "Blow" (Thought it reminded her of The Good Ol' Days that she tried to forget. I wanted to pry, but she threated to "Slap me Senseless".)

7. "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" (Just finish seeing this in the movies, She felt Brad and Angelina had good chemistry, but the plot confused the hell out of her...she also didn't like the actual physical fight they had (The guns and blowing each other up she didn't mind, but when He was kicking her repeated behind the couch, she thought THAT was too much.) and when they called other "CHICKENSH!T!" & "PU$$Y!"

6. ANY Kevin Smith Movie, "Clerks", "Mallrats", even "Dogma", which I think is the best one, I love movies that satire religion and make you think, for someone who went to catholic school and goes to church 3 sundays outta the month, she would of found it intresting.

5. Any Vin Diesel movie, "I tried to get her into "Pitch Black" and "The Chronicles of Riddick", but she can't get over his personality and his views on race. Vin has been keeping his racial preference a mystery (Is he mixed, is he black, is he italian?), it drives me nuts, too but I can still see a movie with him in it for 2 hours as long as he's blowing shit up and killing people (NOT when he's driving recklessly, thou!).

4. Any M. Night Shyalman Movie, She didn't like "Signs", she hated "The Village", I haven't even try to expose her to "Unbreakable"...She didn't understand how Bruce Willis was dead in "The Sixth Sense"...things just bounce of her head, folks.

The Last three are all sex related, I didn't know going in what they were about, and was just so shocked by everything seeing it for the first time...

3. "Original Sin" Something about Antonio Banderas' Ass makes my mother drool...Angelina Jolie had me going bug-eyed for the boobs little bit.

2. "Eyes Wide Shut" Man, someone should of told me about THIS movie before seeing it for the first time with my mom, this was borderlined softporn to my mother.

1. "Monster's Ball" The story was deep. but damn, during that sex scene between Halle and Billy Bob...I swear to god, the first time I saw it...and my mom was right there next to me....I..I GOT WOOD!!!, I wasn't breathing the whole damn scene, I, I was gone...I had to concentrate REAL hard to regain my composure after the scene was over. My mom looked at me after the movie and said "Boy, are you sweating!?!?". I wanted to blame the heat, but it was the middle of December! That movie is like Kyptonite to me...it makes me weak...WEAK!!!

As for "Closer" though, I liked it...it shows how fucked up love can be (As if I didn't know already...) and Julia Roberts actually suprised me with her acting skills (If you'd known me, you'd know I can't STAND that Yak-Face phony.). A part of me wants to rent Nicole Kidman's "Birth" next, but I'm going to see it by myself first before I'll try to see it with MOM.

This month, there are expected to be a lot of babies born in Boston. Due to the Red Sox winning their first World Series in 80-some-odd years. You know the bedsprings were jumping to celebrate That Night in October. So, if you do the math, 9 months from then is now! This makes me wonder about other famous "Dates of Conception". Like, people with birthdays in November, did their parents Do It on Valentine's Day in Feburary? Or those with birthday's in March, did mommy dearest get knocked up on Prom Night in June? And then there's my embrassing case, being born in September, MOM already confessed that the ball wasn't the only thing dropping on "New Year's Day" (Ewww, Gross!). Do the math and check it out, you'll never believe what was going on on that "Magical Night", was there a blackout?, Did Lennon just get shot?, Did the Mets win the World Series?

Well, on the work front, the scanner repair person arrived in the afternoon to repair the broken machine that was slowing down production. Now, with things back in full swing, I'm pretty sure this UN assignment will be history in two weeks.

Which is why it's so spooky that one of my previous Health Insurance firms has contacted me again. The idea of going back to HealthFirst back near ground zero seems almost possible now. I told myself that I would NEVER go back to working in Enrollment due to the politics, but what the hell? They want me back, who am I to say "No"? I did leave on good terms with them when I went up to Westchester. I blamed my departure on 9/11 rather than the gross incompetence and cut-throat office enviroment that was the back-stabbing Enrollment Department. Maybe after so many years things have changed, that I can go in process applications submitted by legit marketing reps following HIPPA guidelines, that they won't fail any audits due to ignorant supervision, and I won't be the evnvy of my co-workers causing them to conspire to get me fired or demoted...S'YEAH Right!!! and pigs will fly right out of my ass while I'm at it!

I would only go back if I was desprate, which means, I probablly will go...besides it'll be nice mend those broken hearts I did when I left (I'm 87% Shakeema Carter from Claims had crush on me, we go way back...).

After relaxing at home for only 29 minutes, Psycho-Sis dropped by from her 18-hour bus journey to pick up my niece who's been down in North Carolina that past few weeks. There was actually a little part of me that missed my lil' Boo-Boo.

So, the end is near, what's a brother to do? Treat every damn day at that place like it'll be my last, and after that? Who knows? Back to Seacaucus?, HealthFirst?, somewhere else? SOMEBODY STOP ME!