Wasting time with Jet

The last 48 hours have been tough, but I'm still hanging in there. When I cashed my check monday, I wanted to just blow it all on craigslist somehow. Buy a computer, raid a garage sale, go to a expensive party, and yes I'll say it...pay someone for sex. Fuck my bills, fuck the class at City College next month, fuck the rent, just go out and pay some money for some sort of release. Browsed the website...nothing.

JOE called me for the DVD program that we've been trying to convey to each other over the weekend through various online methods. I decided to personaly take it down to wall street just to get out of the house. He offered his condolences and told me to cheer up. He reminded me that he's still a die hard Buffalo Bills fan and losing one super bowl is nothing compared to losing 4 in a row. We walked around a few minutes for a late lunch then he went back to his office. I told him I was going to Borders to buy the movie "Collateral" on DVD, he told me to wait saying it'll be the first DVD he'll burn if the program works. So, with nothing else to do, I took my time going back uptown. I walked from ground zero up past union square and worked my way to MSG. The Pennsavania Hotel was nearby, I thought to myself how cool would it be to meet someone there. Strolling in, registering with a fake name..."Sincere Smith" (Just like my pen name!). I'd slowly walk to the elevator, get off at the 13th floor (Which is numbered the 14th..) and walk down the hallway. With my arms folded behind my back (Like Morpheous in The Matrix), I appoach the room. I look left, then right and I knock softly three times...THAT would be so fucking COOL!

Up the street from the hotel, near that big McDonald's...I couldn't help but notice a subtle yet noticable Adult Movie store. I instantly starting hearing the Masterbation Fairy barking my ear. It's like the famous anime movie "Vampire Hunter D", D hears a voice of a parasitic being living in the palm of his hand, when his hand is open, a face can be seen...

M.F.: "You know you want to...go on in and take a peek! See how the other people live!"
LES: "That is not the way to deal with it."
M.F.: "Who are you kiddin'?...Everybody does it, Who are you to be so different?...Go on...."
LES: "no."
M.F.: "Go Onnnn!"
LES: "NO!"

It'd be my luck someone actually see me! What if they knew my mother?!?...I'd never look her in the face again, she'd do a "Estelle Constanza" and throw her back out in the middle of fainting!

I did the right thing and walked by all the way to Columbus Circle. After all that walking and took the train the rest of the way home. I spent some money on some groceries and put a 100 in the bank for the cable bill automatic payment coming up and then went home, porn free and still missing my "Collateral" DVD.

I woke up today with nothing to do, so I hit the internet to check up my meetup groups and find something despressing to do for the upcoming valentine's day weekend. Browsing around craigslist again, the weirdest thing on earth happened...I fell in love! Checking out the escorts again with pictures I came across this ad and I just lost all the air out of lungs! Like I once read in a comic book..."The sight of her hits me like a slug between the eyes!". The first thing you see is a small close up picture of her face, she has eyes that just hypnotize the hell outta ya. Nice brown complextion...and then there are 3 other pictures of her body that just put anyone else I've been thinking of to shame. I couldn't believe it, I'd finally found someone that would make me pay for sex and she was 24 hours shy of getting it!!! I was so pissed off, I'm screaming to the screen "Where the hell were you YESTERDAY!!" Yesterday, I would of paid a month's rent to be with her, ALL NIGHT!!!, but now, I'm only thinking about it. I read the ad for details, details that I'm not repeating in this blog (Who the hell's gonna read this anyway?) and I just stared at it for an hour...thought about it, again, and again, and again.

I pulled myself away from the monitor when my answering machine clicked on with my greeting...I was zoning out on the ad, I didn't even hear the phone ring! JOE call from his office, the damn DVD program didn't work. Well, it works it just needs an activation keycode and I was certain, I had found a copy of the program that was cracked. I told him to find a key generator program himself and hung up the phone on him.

I had to get that ad outta my head so turned off the computer and looked at some DVD's and Monday night's episode of "Medium". I have some Job Workshop thing to go to tomorrow to keep the city from helping me out. Thank god it's in the afternoon and it's only 90 minutes. I'm printing a few copies of the 'ol resume and plan to get a hair cut tomorrow morning before I go. The whole evening, I couldn't get that ad out of my head, I wasn't really thinking of "Making an apoointment", but I planned to do some research, check fellow craiglisters for some "reviews".