Wasting time with Jet

I woke up at 8:10am this morning to a faint sound of water splashing on a hard surface. My first instinct was it was raining yet again, but I slowly realized it was coming from inside the house! I jumped out of bed and ran to my bathroom. The ceiling was leaking again, and there was that sound of a infant laughing and splashing in a bathtub with the water still running. A puddle was developing right in front of my toilet. Any other time, I'd just get a mop and a bucket, but I was still furious with my upstairs neighbors for those tresured magazines that got warped (For TYRA gaddamn it, for TYRA!!). SO, fueled with anger and common sense out the window, I grabbed my bathrobe and my baseball bat and flew out of my apartment and stormed upstairs to the third floor. I knocked on the door politely (Because knocking hard only scares these people and they don't even respond.). "Who is it?" a female voice asks. "It's your downstairs neighbor, could you open the door, please?" I said with a restrained calm voice. She opens the door as gasps. I'm standing there in my bathrobe, but my belt is missing, and I didn't feel the need to hold it closed. I did however cover my privates with the baseball bat, holding it close in front of me like a cane. My man boobs and hairy chest may have scared the woman into slaming the door so I spoke quickly and clearly..."Miss, I have put up with your child splashing in the bathtub and your faulty illegal installation of a washing machine for 5 years now, and after 5 years I'm leaving this retched place to move back in with my mother! Now I only have 6 days left before I leave so do you think you can keep you kid in check for just one more week, please!" She nods her head quickly, her face still full of shock. I then, take a moment to close my robe with my hand and say, "Thank You" and walked back downstairs before she closed the door.

10:30am I'm looking at a cool new episode of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (With my fav. supporting chracter in a guest spot, Samurai Rabbit, Usagi Yojimbo!) when I get a knock on my door. It's the super...

Super:"The Lady in 3A says you came to her apartment..."
ME:"Yeah, her kid was flooding the bathroom again, water was leaking from my ceiling!"
Super:"You know when that happens, you come to ME and then I check it out."
ME:"It's pissed me off and I couldn't find you."
Super:"She says you were naked"
ME:"I had on my bathrobe."
Super:"And you threaten her with a baseball bat."
ME:"She was wrong about me being naked and now you believe her about a bat?"
Super:"She said she saw your...THING"
ME:"Was she impressed?"
(Super gives me a look)
ME:"I guess not"
Super:"Look, just come to me next time, okay?"

I wanted to say "Ain't gonna be a next time!", but I just nodded and said "I-ight" and closed my door.

Before the super came I was thinking about that scene in "Down and Out in Beverly Hills" when Little Richard was bitching to police about their response time when someone white calls 911. I think that's what I probably looked like upstairs.

I though I held the bat at the center...Ah well, the head may have peeked out on the right, It has a tendicy to slouch...

Anyways, back to Ninja Turtles...

Six more days, just six more friggin' days...