Wasting time with Jet

Well, after finally seeing "Troy", I felt the urge to catch up some more by renting another movie that I forgot about that I wanted to see, the Love-Triangle soap opera, "Closer", With Jude Law, Julia Roberts, Clive Owen, and Natalie Portman.

"Whoa."

This movie was deep. It took place in England, which was intresting (Nice to see how the others live and all that...), but it was a bit trippy. There were time shifts forward in the movie and there were no captions to explain such. Months go by at one point, then a year, then a few more weeks, etc, etc...it was a bit confusing. Now, if I was looking at this movie myself, I wouldn't mind the language spoken when it came to sex (Quite frankly, for a movie with SUCH dialogue, they were very few sex scenes to go with it!), I mean they kept it real. Those brits don't play when it comes to terminology, so you can imagine what my mom was thinking as she heard all that coarse language. SO, natually I had to add this to a very long list of "Movies I never should of seen with Mom."

Now, I'd like share a few more I've learned from simular past expirences...

10. "I Heart Hucklebees" (Good movie, a bit trippy, but SHE hated it.)

9. "Secert Window" (She loves Johnny Depp, except when he's crazy, or on cocaine, See #8)

8. "Blow" (Thought it reminded her of The Good Ol' Days that she tried to forget. I wanted to pry, but she threated to "Slap me Senseless".)

7. "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" (Just finish seeing this in the movies, She felt Brad and Angelina had good chemistry, but the plot confused the hell out of her...she also didn't like the actual physical fight they had (The guns and blowing each other up she didn't mind, but when He was kicking her repeated behind the couch, she thought THAT was too much.) and when they called other "CHICKENSH!T!" & "PU$$Y!"

6. ANY Kevin Smith Movie, "Clerks", "Mallrats", even "Dogma", which I think is the best one, I love movies that satire religion and make you think, for someone who went to catholic school and goes to church 3 sundays outta the month, she would of found it intresting.

5. Any Vin Diesel movie, "I tried to get her into "Pitch Black" and "The Chronicles of Riddick", but she can't get over his personality and his views on race. Vin has been keeping his racial preference a mystery (Is he mixed, is he black, is he italian?), it drives me nuts, too but I can still see a movie with him in it for 2 hours as long as he's blowing shit up and killing people (NOT when he's driving recklessly, thou!).

4. Any M. Night Shyalman Movie, She didn't like "Signs", she hated "The Village", I haven't even try to expose her to "Unbreakable"...She didn't understand how Bruce Willis was dead in "The Sixth Sense"...things just bounce of her head, folks.

The Last three are all sex related, I didn't know going in what they were about, and was just so shocked by everything seeing it for the first time...

3. "Original Sin" Something about Antonio Banderas' Ass makes my mother drool...Angelina Jolie had me going bug-eyed for the boobs little bit.

2. "Eyes Wide Shut" Man, someone should of told me about THIS movie before seeing it for the first time with my mom, this was borderlined softporn to my mother.

1. "Monster's Ball" The story was deep. but damn, during that sex scene between Halle and Billy Bob...I swear to god, the first time I saw it...and my mom was right there next to me....I..I GOT WOOD!!!, I wasn't breathing the whole damn scene, I, I was gone...I had to concentrate REAL hard to regain my composure after the scene was over. My mom looked at me after the movie and said "Boy, are you sweating!?!?". I wanted to blame the heat, but it was the middle of December! That movie is like Kyptonite to me...it makes me weak...WEAK!!!

As for "Closer" though, I liked it...it shows how fucked up love can be (As if I didn't know already...) and Julia Roberts actually suprised me with her acting skills (If you'd known me, you'd know I can't STAND that Yak-Face phony.). A part of me wants to rent Nicole Kidman's "Birth" next, but I'm going to see it by myself first before I'll try to see it with MOM.