Wasting time with Jet

I really wanted to go up to Westchester this week. But leave it for mom to have SO MUCH going on to keep me cooped up in the house all damn day all week...

1) A fedex delivery that was supposed to arrive monday, somebody has to be here when it eventually comes...

2) After 30-some-odd years, MOM gets the urge to change her damn bedroom set, throwing away two perfectly well-kept antique dressers that have been in the family for years. After four months (And various decision changes!) she finally has paid for a dresser and mirror set that is being delivered friday. HOWEVER, she needs permission from the building management office for a big delivery like this and naturally I have to do the leg work.

3) Going with the bedroom change, MS. DIM BULB realizes at the last minute that she needs a TV stand and buys that too at the last minute (Also to be delivered during the day!)

4) In the midst of all this, mommy dearest has the nerve to attend an spiritual...THING hosted by famed Televangelist Joel Osten at Madison Square Garden tonight!

5) AND if THAT wasn't enough! This weekend she's going off to rhode island for some lobster fest getaway!

DOES this woman have too much on her plate or WHAT! Damn! I can't bul-lieve she planned all this shit to happen during the same week! AND by some crazy ass coincidence I happen to be available at home to help her...WHAT IF I WAS STILL WORKING, HUH?!?! You think Psycho-Sis would be this damn dependable to help mom?....NO!!!! Mom would have been screwed if it wasn't for me, damnit!!!!

WHEW!, Like I said though...I really wanted to go up to Westchester...

Today is the day back in 2001 (In the wake of 9/11...) that I started working at Community Choice Health Plan. The whole experience is still raw in my brain like a scab you pick at because you don't want it to heal...

Omar's Girlfriend Tonya helped me get the job, she was the supervisor in Enrollment but she made sure I would serve under another supervisor so they'd be no conflict of interest. Things were cool at first but then, they got bad.

My previous company, Healthfirst had gone through a bad transition before I left, lots of incompetent supervisors lost their jobs due to their bad management, and one of them turned up at Community Choice. Her name alone represents the evil nature of human beings so she will be known as "That-which-shall-not-be-Named". This woman had a black heart to match her soul, should anyone encounter her in a forest, don't take the apple she would offer!

She started in Operations, and in my foolishness I figured she'd be harmless there, so long as she didn't interfere in Enrollment affairs. I was such a fool then, I should have known better. When asked about her shady past at Healthfirst, I failed to mention her incompetence that put the company in jeopardy, failed to reveal what a fool this evil woman was and how cunning her expectations were. I ACTUALLY THOUGHT SHE DESERVED A SECOND CHANCE...to this day I realize THAT is where I went wrong.

I should have warned Tonya, warned everybody that the exact same thing that happened at HealthFirst could happen here, but so long as she stayed in "Operations" I thought we'd be safe. Six months went by, I was up for review and my supervisor failed to file one, before I knew it, he resigned stating internal conflicts...GUESS WHO TOOK HIS PLACE...with her clutches in enrollment again, "That-which-shall-not-be-Named" changed everything around. A system that was working fine like the well oiled machine, now had a monkey wrench thrown in! Tonya tried to keep things in order, it was too much. Soon, other HealthFirst alumni came up north following me, at first I was thrilled to be reunited with old friends, but then they got promoted past me and things got worst. Months later, Me and Tonya were the only ones left from the original staff, new policies were in place, chaos was slowly tearing the company apart.

I didn't know what to do...everything was happening again, the company got audited, we had to overhaul our files, we were on the brink of being shut down. Then, when things seem their darkest...Tonya went on bereavement leave due to the death of her sister. After two weeks, I was expecting her to come back, then another week went by, then a month...soon it finally sunk in that she was not coming back. I don't know if she quit or if she was fired, it was never spoken about again...all signs pointed to HER! I felt so guilty after Tonya left. I know she left because of her sister, but I thought she couldn't come back because of what had become of the place. It was my fault, I failed to act, then sat back and watched the chaos reveal itself. Months after Tonya's departure Community Choice finally got wise and FIRED that wicked bitch. I can't imagine how humiliating that had to be, to get fired from TWO different firms in a two year period (2001-2003). Lord knows, she probably went on to another health insurance firm to repeat the cycle. She's like UNICRON from "Transformers:The Movie" Moving around space, devouring planets, leaving nothing but debris in her path, the ULTIMATE evil.

Although the day the beast finally left was the happiest day in months (I actually shed a tear of happiness), the damage had been done. Soon other unqualified supervisors came and went, and things were never the way they were. The guilt started to grow inside of me, I couldn't sleep a full night's sleep anymore. Insomnia finally reared it's ugly head and I became a wreck. My co-workers turned on me, ridiculed me, once these were my friends, and even though they were making more money than me, receiving raises even though I was there longer, I valued their friendship. Which made their betrayal hurt more than anything. My body started shutting down, it became a chore doing the simplest things at work. Then one real FLAKEY supervisor came on board...A perky, brainless, sugar-coated, social butterfly, that wanted to celebrate everyone's birthday, have collections for countless charities, secret santa's, susu office pools, the works. Her ideas were too optimistic at the time, and she was messing with my cash flow. Now I'm not cheap, but there are some things I don't play with and money is one of them, end of story.

So after the holidays go by and a new year starts, I still can't sleep, and the jobs pushing me to the edge. With all that's gone on in the past, I finally get fed up and throw in the towel. But Today, October 20th, I think back and wonder how they're doing now...and I think about Omar and Tonya...I'm sure she has a better job now, I'm sure she has no ill feelings towards me, but...I just don't think...because I hesitated...that I deserve their friendship. So I've drifted away from them...they don't even know I've moved back in with mom (Like I want to advertise that anyway!). One day I might call them up again, but for now I'm living with my guilt.