Wasting time with Jet

It was a simple plan...

What's why I knew it wouldn't work from Jump Street.

Mom and Psycho-Sis still have christmas shopping to do (For my mostly my niece as well as a few neighbors...) so we decided that I'd take Baby-Girl to the movies and they'd go shopping at 34th street.

We were going to see the "Narnia" movie at 3pm. Psycho-sis dropped off Baby-Girl Yesterday so she could sing in some church program this morning. Now, despite dropping my niece off early yesterday (Having her whole saturday to herself as usual), Psycho-sis arrived at the house bitchy saying "She only had 3 hours of sleep last night...". She wanted to rush us and leave at around 1:30 when the movie starts at 3 and it only takes 30-45 minutes to get downtown. Me and Mom wanted to relax (They're lucky I wasn't caught up in football anymore...), Mom and Baby-Girl just came back from church and the little thing wanted to change out of her church clothes. Psycho-sis insisted that she keep them on, that it's too hard to change, that we should just go and get something to eat before the movie, blah, blah, blah...

Mom tells Psycho-sis to relax and they start to argue, I sit down and put my hand on the side of my face with an annoyed glance, while Baby-girl gets caught up on something on TV. I go through the motions thinking "I'm so sick of this, why goes this happen every year, blah, blah, blah..." Then mom finally gives in and we start to get ready (Still too damn early). Here's when things get fucked up...

Psycho-sis tells Baby-girl to put her coat on, but she wants to stay at look a TV for a bit...with no patience what-so-ever she starts to yell at the child viciously to do what she says, Baby-girl stomps her foot in protest, and I guess nothing pisses off this deranged psychopath more than a gaddamn foot stomp so she takes upon herself to spank her across her legs twice. Then the crying starts and I'm thinking "I'm not taking her down to the movie like this!". So I tell her to calm her down or we ain't going nowhere. Psycho-sis starts staring daggers at me and just tries to put the child's coat on, then mom steps in and wonders what's going on and I break it down to her. Suddenly I'm the bad guy here, while a child is crying with her coat on and her bitch of a mother is rushing us.

They should be thankful I was willing to sit down to a movie, but when this child acts up, I don't want to be 20 feet of her. So then we decide not to go, Psycho-sis gets mad saying again she only had "3 hours of sleep" and tries to start so shit with me. Mom gets all mad and then I offer to stay at home while the two of them go shopping (Why waste 25-30 bucks over tickets and popcorn?), but then Psycho-sis gets real pissed saying I'm not a real uncle and I'm not welcomed at her house for christmas and then storms off with baby-girl to go back home, another weekend wasted.

I sit there in the living room pissed, mom storms off in her room for a moment. Ten minutes go by and she comes back with tears in her eyes...

"Oh, fuck." I wanted to say...

"I don't know why you alienate yourself from your sister..." She starts...

"...She the only family you got..." Sobbing continues...

"...One day I'm going to be gone and you two will only have each other..."

God Damn, why does she have to me feel like I'm the guilty one!?!?!?

OBVIOUSLY that bitch must of have been doing SOMETHING bad (Drugs, Drinking, All-Out Orgy, who-the-fuck-knows?) last night and she got all bitchy because she actually had to wake up before noon for once.

I don't like it when she takes things out on that child, spanking her and yelling at her was wrong.

So I'm not a good uncle anymore?, well fuck her and her child.

Mom said her peace then left me alone again. I pounded the table in disgust and then put my coat on and left the house. I took two buses up to Throgs Neck, and visited Saint Raymond's Cematery, again. I told myself not to visit Deidre too often, it takes a lot out of me when I see her on her birthday...

I just let the tears come out...

"You were the only one who understood me..."

I stood there and sobbed for ten minutes...

I really, really, hate this time of year...

It's been like this since god knows when...

We have so many fights christmas day, I always stay home or storm off somewhere, everybody makes me the fucking bad guy.

This year is no diffrent, Christmas day I'm going to see the Harry Potter movie, by myself, in an empty movie theater...MOM can go to Psycho-sis's house and open presents with baby-girl...it'll be just another fuckin' day, end of story.

I came home all cried out and emotionally drained.

Mom looked at "Forrest Gump" on cable and I went in my room...

I wanted to smash every fucking thing in sight. Just take a bat to everything, the TV, the computer, my bookcase, everything! Why does that happen? Why is it when people (Black people in general) get some angry they want to break their OWN shit? What is that?

Back when I had a PS2, I used to play this game "Bloodrayne 2" (Which has already inspired a movie that I can't WAIT to see by the way!) the first couple of levels started you off in a mansion, and everything was so detailed, Big Screen TV's, fancy chairs, tables and junk, and I would just take the two blades she was armed with and TEAR the place apart! No advancing through the game, just destroying every inanimate object in sight for that first level...it felt good.

That's why I support these violent video games, any inteligent person knows it ain't real...it's a form of relase for ADULTS who can afford thse games, they ain't supposed to be played by kids!

But that's another rant entirely for another day...

one more week and this bullshit's over.