Wasting time with Jet

Okay, put the coffee on the pot before you read any further...

Put the kids to bed, tell hubby your're going to be reading for awhile and you don't wanna be disturbed, turn the TV and/or Radio and pull down the window shade. I'll be providing you with an entertaining yet sad tale that wiil generate SO much pity for me, it will be totally unbelievable.

Still there?, ya ready?...okay, here we go...

7:30 I make the call, her voice mail picks up...this voice sounded SO scary, I almost called off the whole night right there. It made me think...in all the research I've done, I really didn't know how OLD this girl was. Her voice was, deep and sultry...like Kathleen Turner's Jessica Rabbit, which could be taken as sexy, but it just didn't fit.

I gather up my nerve and try again, I get her in person (In the 10 minute wait, the voice settles within me...) and set up the appointment for 10pm. Once again, I'm informed to call and confirm when I'm near the area. After taking another shower (my 3rd.) and getting the tradional "Johnny Cash" black outfit out of the closet and get ready.

Trying to keep the damn cats away so I don't get any cat hair on me, I put the money in an envelope (this girl is a real stickler for procedure.), I grab some binaca, chap stick, my cell, a pen and my wallet and walk out the door...

Two guesses what I forgot in that list above...

MY GADDAMN HOUSEKEYS!!!

I freeze in sheer panic for a moment as the door closes, "Oh! SHIT!...What am I gonna do?" I think.

I go downstairs to my neighbor underneath me. MOM is MEETING her IN Jacksonville, but sometimes her numbskull grandniece is in the apartment and we have a spare kept there. I ring the door and knock hard...nothing.

It's 8:45pm, now...I gotta be downtown by 10...I try to play it cool and start off towards the train station thinking I could try again when I get back (Satisfied) or worst case scenario, I'd call psycho-sis and get her copy. I tried not to sweat it too much, but I couldn't believe how nervious I was to rush out without my freaking keys!

So, still keeping cool, I make it down to 38th Street on the east side. I'm between 5th and Madison, wondering how far I should go, it's about 9:52pm...I start calling...NO ANSWER.

"Okay" I think to myself..."Maybe she's there finishing up with another client...no big thing..."

I keep calling...9:55pm

...9:58

10pm rolls by, and I'm in the middle of downtown, trying to get a lil somethin, somethin, not knowing the EXACT location and stiil no answer!

What the hell to do?, what could I do?...I give up and call it off.

BUT now, what about my keys?

I suck air through my cheeks, bite my lip and dial Psycho-sis on my cell.

I gave her some song and dance story about being stood up a girl I was IM'ing for the last month and I locked myself out. I told her I was heading up to Co-Op city on the 6 train and to stay put and don't go asleep.

She tried to contain herself, but I could tell she was dying to hang up the phone and laugh her ass off.

At least she brought the story...god forbid she ever discover the truth. I couldn't just go to her house all dressed up saying I forgot my keys, she would of wondered what the hell I was doing the minute she saw me.

So, I head over to Grand Central, when a Text message hits my phone, I couldn't read it at first because I had so much crap in my mailbox it was actually full! So I deleted a few messages and found out what it was. The girl had an outcall appointment in New Jersey and she couldn't make it back to the city in time. I couldn't believe it...brushed off by an escort...this was a new low for me.

I get on the 6 train and take it to the bronx. Once I get to Psycho-sis's neck of the woods, I get a call from JOE. He wanted to know how'd it go, I tell him I'm on the adventure of the lifetime. He's telling me I'm crazy doing all this stuff for sex, that I need a hobby or something...

"Buy another PS2, man...get your mind off with some games."

I tell that the PS3 is coming out in March, and it'd be a waste to buy a PS2, now. We talk about the movies a bit, He getting "Bloodrayne" confused with the sequel to "Underworld" and I gotta explain to him the difference between the two.

I finally get to Psycho-Sis's house and ask her to come down with the spare key (All the damn walking around I did tonight, I wasn't about to climb 4 flights of steps!). She give me a key that looks completly unfamilar...

"This ain't the key." I say"

"Yes it is." she responds with a smirk.

We go back and foward and finally I take her word for it.

"This ain't funny" I yell at her...

"Yes it is..." she says back and goes back in her building.

"I'll make this up to you" I say as I leave...Maybe I'll take Baby Girl to the movies myself one weekend, maybe to see "Curious George" in feburary...

I wait at the bus stop alone so I could use my 2-hour transfer from the train as a free ride home.

I should of just paid for a cab, I had 250 fuckin' dollars burning a hole in my jacket!

I just waited there, with my back on the pole, looking up...the wind was blowing, and it was brick cold...I suddenlly just started laughing to myself at this whole situatition...just laughing, and crying at how pathetic I was...

What a fucking day.

"I brought this on myself, I deserve this." I thought to myself...

I'm not worthy anymore, sex is a luxury that is no longer entitled to me. Heh, getting a STD, would be considered LUCKY compared to my current situation! I deserve none of this...

I should be laughed at when it comes to sex...

I shouldn't have sex for the rest of my life...

I should be 45 years old, still living with mother...

...and have 3 inch penis.

I...I can't take these damn disappointments anymore.

The bus finally came and I got on. I was so out of it. When I got home I wanted to eat a peanut butter sandwich and forget about my damn diet.

I wanted to eat a whole medium cheese deep-dish pie from dominoes...

The only guilty pleasure I took when I got home was drinking a pitcher of kool-aid MOM left for me thursday night. As some sort of test of temptation since I've been drinking bottled water all week. I decided to help myself to the kool-aid for my troubles like a recovering alcholic falling off the horse...

I looked at myself in the dining room mirror...Damn, I was fine...could get any woman I wanted...why am I paying for it then?

It's such bullshit.

It was 1:30 in morning when I came in...full of energy.

I don't know what i'm gonna do tomorrow...

Maybe head out to LI and see JOE or somethin'