Wasting time with Jet

Went out to Long Island to see JOE today...

As I've probably mentioned, going out to Long Island is JOURNEY. The train ride is around 90 minutes in which you usually fall into a temporary coma. At the start of the trek I call The Boy to tell him I'm on my way and he suddenly remembers something...

"My son has a Little League game today..."

I swear I almost snapped the cell phone in two.

"Come and watch him play, it'll be fun..."

If I wasn't in a crowded train, I'd scream at his ass.

"I'm going out there to stay AWAY from little kids, not be bother by others!"

Part of me wanted to get off the train at the next stop and go back home, but after what I paid to get on...I figured "The hell with it."

JOE's oldest son is the same age as Baby Girl and seeing him doing ANY sports is like ...ah, forget it...I don't rag on the lil runt, but lets just say the boy has issues.

So, 1:30pm, me and the whole family go to a nearby playground/softball field to see these tykes play ball. The setup is surreal, seeing these yuppy suburbanites live their childhoods through their own children, sitting in folding chairs under canopies drinking DaSani's...it's almost like that Showtime Comedy series "Weeds"...it made me wanna puke. Give me stickball in the streets with incoming traffic every 5 minutes with the parents nowhere to be seen and making sure the ball doesn't hit an innocent bystander walking by anyday...

The sun, the annoying whiny parents, the lousy gameplay of these kids that wouldn't even be good enough for a Public School gym class, and worst of all...THE BUGS! I can't tell you how many times I felt something crawling on my arm...

halfway into the game, me and JOE took his two younger kids to the playground far away from the field to talk about Florida. He's got an interview on the 15th. He almost booked a flight down there, but changed his mind at the last minute. Now, he way thinking of driving down there with the whole family. I'd told him that'd be crazy and then he asked if I would come. The dude's not sure what to do as usual and things are unclear for me too. If I finally get the call to go back to work?

He was talking about flying down there for the interview and coming back the same day, but who the hell does that?...Donald Trump?, Tom Cruise?...Be in New York at 9am, down there by 1pm, and fly back by 10 in the evening...why put yourself through that much Jet Lag? We later put the serious stuff aside as the game ended and went back to JOE's house to play some PS2.

It had been so long since I played my old games (Yeah, I kept them!). I really wanted to get some aggression out by playing some Light Gun games like the TIME CRISIS series, but my video "Gats" were kinda messed up from inactivity. So then we played so Trivia Pursuit Unhinged and Simpsons Road Rage. When the kids got bored of hanging around the adults, me and JOE play a couple of rounds of "Outlaw Golf 2" (Which is a bit more risque for children to be seeing...) much to the dismay of his wife who didn't find any of the dark humor remotely funny. (Hey, golf can't all be Tiger Woods and junk!...Strippers, Convicts, Gigolos, Trailer Park Trash, Mafioso Princesses and a Dominmatrix just entitled to play a few links AND beat the ever lovin' snot out of their caddies!)

Soon, it was time to go, and in true "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas"-style, JOE drove me to the Train Station with seconds to spare...one day he's gonna get me there late and I'm gonna beat the hell outta him for the extra hour I have to wait till the next train!

Now, for some bizzare reason, the ride BACK to the city is always worst than going OUT there. The train is filled with crazy Long Island Party Goers heading to the city like it's fucking Vegas or something! They're these overdressed "VALLEY" chicks that are probably 16-looking-like-they're-25 doing their makeup and acting like extras from a Lindsey Lohan movie, and these Don Johnson wannabe Lounge Lizards that have seen "Swingers" and HBO's "Entourage" one too many times TRYING TO ACT BLACK, running up and down the middle of the train car shouting "Ev'ry body in train Gettin' TIPSY!" It's like a school bus of little kids going to Disneyland, and I'm there asking myself "Am I going to the right place?, Is this the right train?, I'm trying to get HOME!...whereas these people think they're going to Sin City!"

The expirence is just too weird for words, you just have to expirence it to believe it. Hence, the title of this post...Why does the trip home from LI seem like days, compared to the hours it take to get out there in the first place?!?!?!?

So, I finally get home at 11pm, MOM and my Niece are asleep thank goodness, I peel off my clothes and take a shower, getting rid of those immaginary bugs that were all over me. I had turned my cell phone ringer off all day while I was out there, so when I emptied my pockets I noticed I had a few missed calls and some voicemail messages. I called up to listen to my messages...

The second one was from my Team Supervisor from the UN gig, I got the go ahead to report at the midtown office where my next scanning assignment for this German Bank was to begin...Monday, at 8:30am...Son of a BITCH!, the instant I put in that claim for unemployment, these BASTARDS!

Well, with what I endured, I feel that was a reward of sorts...let that be a lesson, folks...

"You go through enough crap, you get a nice shiny penny in the end." Hmmm, I should copyright that...