Wasting time with Jet

Abraham Lincoln.

The 16th President of the United States.

Did the whole Emancipation Proclamation thingy that freed the slaves.

As far as standards go way back when, Lincoln would not really be considered a man with Average intelligence, but not necessarily an idiot either. You could even say he was within "Homer Simpson"-style levels of greatness and failures.

He ran for Speaker of the House, twice, Ran for Senate, twice, lost his seat and then won it again, Lost the nomination for Vice President, and Ran for President, Twice before FINALLY winning.

Now, during his career, Lincoln was also an Defense Attorney. He represented criminals that he felt were being mishandled by the authorities whether they were really guilty or innocent.

There was one very interesting case Lincoln had, he was defending a man who apparently bitten another man's EAR off in bar fight. The victim died from the injury and there was only ONE eyewitness. If he cross-examined the witness correctly, he could of very well gotten his client off.

During the Cross-Examination, Lincoln questioned the Witness...

"Sir, did you SEE the fight on the night in question?"

"no." The Witness replied.

"Did you SEE my client ATTACK the victim?

"no." The Witness said again...

"Did you SEE my client BITE the victim's ear?"

"no, sir." The Witness said one more time.

Lincoln then used his words VERY carefully on the next question...

"Now think VERY clearly about this next question, Did you see my client BITE the victim's ear completely OFF?"

The Witness looked him in the eye and said...

"No, Sir."

NOW, if Lincoln had finished his cross, the witness would have destroyed the prosecution's entire case and the client would have gone free...

BUT Lincoln couldn't resist asking the witness with humor and disbelief...

"Then how in tarnation do you know my client DID bite the victim's ear off?!?!?"

In which the Witness simply replied...

"Because I saw him SPIT it out Afterward."

At the expense of his client, Lincoln learned a valuable lesson that day...

"Never ask one question TOO many."

SO, flash forward 170-odd years to today 2007...

Yesterday evening, after my afternoon slumber and my refreshing & cleansing shower, I arrive at my PC in my room in my bathrobe, hornier than Austin Powers...

I turn on my Yahoo IM and "Leeloo" greets me within moments of logging-on...

After some on-cam pleasantries (Her showing her tongue-ring, me showing my glistening, and ERRECT body), she decides to share some naughty pictures of her.

We've been doing this exchange for awhile, her supplying the most between us, because I've been finding it SO hard to take erotic pictures of myself BY myself (Even with my "Spider-Man Camera Tricks"...)

SO, curiosity finally gets the best of me and I ask

"How DO you take such great pictures of yourself, they're like MASTERPIECES..."

Let THIS be a lesson, folks!

She calmly replies...

"a girlfriend take the pics..."

So, I was like "WHOA, that's a GREAT friend! To up and take nude pictures for someone with no problems..."

Then I was like "WAIT!"

"Wow!, that is SOME friend!...you are VERY lucky...she's not a lesbian, thou is she? (Enjoying taking your pics a lil too much?)"

a second later, a second picture gets sent over...

This one is VERY different...and shows "Leeloo" using that Magic Tongue-Ring of her...

All I could type was...

"OMG"

I take a moment to gather myself...

"U lil freak!..LOL....wowwwww...so, ya'll MORE than friends?"

And she says

"yes....is something wrong with that?"

AND I'm LIKE SCREAMING "ARE U FUCKING KIDDIN' ME?!?!?!" But, I calmly type...

"No, not at all...not at all...it's cool."

The conversation goes on...and I even joke with her asking for more...but she said her friend is shy...so I don't press...8:30pm rolls by and I have to get ready so we say "Lick U Later...Lick U Later", but now it has SUCH a different meaning!

I get dressed and go to work.

THE WHOLE TRAIN RIDE I have this killer screw-face on, it's like I wanna cry, but I'm too mad to.

The tears start up in my eye, but they don't come down, they jus pool there...collecting in my eyelids.

There is so much shit on my mind now, I was totally fucked up for work.

To make things worst, my machine started acting up, the magnet inside wasn't picking up the check numbers or numbers on the Batch Tickets that start the process. I had to sit at a PC and do Data Entry the whole night...

I was so out of it...

We were planning to jus meet at a diner friday, no movies, no bullshit, jus meet, eat, and feel each other out...but I don't know.

I don't understand this...why do women wanna Have Their Cake and Eat It, too? You can't work both sides of the damn game? How could she be so nonchalant about this?

Could you imagine a guy pulling this shit?

Be like, "I'm feeling you baby, I can't wait to be with you, but you should know, I like to suck a cock from time to time...", NO, Un-UH, False Start!, OFFSIDES, TRAVELING!, DOUBLE-DRIBBLING! YOU CAN'T DO THAT, MAN!

Lotta people think it's more guys than women with this "On the Down Low" shit that's been goin on, getting played like Terri McMillian, but FUCK DAT...these women out here being Bi-Curious and shit are starting to become a dime a dozen!

Part of me wants to jus break the whole shit off like that Spiteful Bitch did me from Yahoo! Personals back in November.

Jus a one line IM saying "It's not working, I don't feel any chemistry, we can still IM from time to time..."

That would be the logical step, but then I'd be no better than those REAL assholes out there that play with women's emotions.

I'm telling you, "One Question TOO much!", Abe Lincoln, man...

I shoulda kept my head in the sand...

Ignorance IS Bliss

Knowing everything jus keeps you lonely...you think that Jeopardy Champ Ken Jennings is getting any on the regular?

It's my own fault, I have this damn fetish for tongue-rings but in realty it's usually Lesbians that get them...