Wasting time with Jet

*sigh*

Sometimes I really ask myself

"Is this me?"

I get that question from a scene in "From Dust till Dawn"...when George Clooney is smacking the hell outta Quentin Tarantino.

I set myself up for these CONSTANT disappointments.

The emergency was averted, she didn't come online till 8pm tonight and I was worried shitless assuming the worst.

When things were cool, I gave her "An Out", I said if you found someone else, or just want to keep this online, if you got cold feet, just tell me, and I won't be hurt, it'll be cool....

I've been through this bullshit so many times I could write a book of procedure on it. You give them an "out" and they take it and you move on, what would be the point of LEADING someone on like this?

This has a BAD habit of happening...

It's like something goes wrong with the kid, or the cell phone battery dies (I'm Sorry for mentioning it, but it happened.), and now this...

Like I said before, Is THIS ME?

Is THIS MY FAULT?

And that's when I feel like slamming myself against the wall, just step out of myself, and grab my other half and beat some sense outta him like in that scene.

"This is not what I do, I do not rape, and kill women...I am a thief, I do not kill unless I fucking HAVE to, this is NOT WHAT I DO!...and what you are DOING...what your FUCKING DOING is NOT HOW IT'S DONE!"

*sighs*

I asked about trying again tomorrow and she says the weekends are dedicated to her boys...

and now the wall of obstruction start to appear...

and with walls there are boundaries and limitations...

then pretty soon, the PERFECT woman starts looking like a regular woman.

and I ask myself AGAIN...

"Is IT ME?"