Wasting time with Jet

Last Night Psycho-Lesbo Sis brought Baby Girl over so she could visit her Father's Side of the family down at 96th Street (The Aunt or Cousins or whatever, when it comes to the Father, I blackout any relevant sentences after his name is spoken...)

Sis dropped her off so MOM could bring her to the West Side this morning. MOM finally got the idea to try and see "Smoking Aces" since she'd seen every other black movie worth seeing out at the moment (This being "Dreamgirls" and "Tyler Perry's Daddy's Little Girls", but NOT "Norbit" or "Black Snake Moan"). She really likes Alicia Keys and wanted to see it before it comes out on DVD (Which it is...).

SO, not looking a gift movie in the mouth I decide to tag along while MOM dropped the lil Boo Boo off at the other relatives place. They'll bring her back Sunday, and hopefully sis will pick her up early.

There was a 2pm screening at the Time Square Lowes/AMC Theater (Across from the AMC 25). We took the scenic route down Broadway via M104 bus. We were halfway past Lincoln Center when mom tapped my shoulder...

"Bud..."

"Oh, No...." I rolled my eyes.

"I need you to hook up the VCR's and copy a tape."

"Of What?" I sighed.

"My friend Ethel's Nephew was on the Maury Povich Show this week."

"So?...Wha, Wait!...What for? He had a paternity test taken with some chick?!?!"

"HOW DID YOU KNOW?!?!?"

"Cuz, that's all Maury does anymore...Omigod!, How ghetto is that!"

"Shut up! Ethel wants the show on tape along with some home videos...just like those tapes of the Baby Shower and Thanksgiving we used to do..."

(We have Psycho-Sis's baby shower on tape, along with some house parties and Thanksgivings...every 2 years or so, I make a new copy to give to someone...Chirst, thank god I don't have a DVR Component...pretty soon everybody'll want all that crap on DVD!)

"You'll have to use MY VCR to do the recording...because YOURS is so crummy..." MOM continues..."Get those special Yellow-Red-White wires and hook 'em up to one of the other VCRs...I don't know which plays better, the one in the living room or your piece of crap."

I'm already putting my fingers in the form of a pistol to my head as she rattles on...

"...And she'll need Three Copies, separate copies, not a copy of a copy, you know the quality degrades when you make a copy of a copy..."

"THREE?!?!?" I yell so loud the whole bus heard us...

MOM and her damn "Michael Keaton's MULTIPLICITY" VCR Physics...."Can't make a Copy of a Copy...blah, blah, blah"....

I started to freak out, but then it hit me, and I smiled the Most Devilish Smile possible.

"Okay, MOM....I'll do the tapes on ONE CONDITION...."(I was barely able to contain myself!)

A look of panic crept over her for a second...

"What?" she whimpered.

"That YOU spend a Friday night with SIS and Baby Girl in The Bronx with a proper Head's Up notice...And NO QUESTIONS ASKED!"

Advantage, JET BLACK.

"What are you..." she began...

"THAT sounds like a Question!"

"BUT, WHO ARE YOU..."

"ANOTHER QUESTION! You go straight to her house after work, you don't call and don't come back until the next morning...

"DEAL or NO DEAL?" (Howie eat your heart out.)

I could tell she was pissed...I had her right where I wanted her and I was LOVING IT! She LOVES volunteering me to do all kinds of tedious shit for her wacky friends, well this time it was going to cost her...

We sat on the bus as she stared at me for a long time...

"Fine." she finally uttered.

And jus like that everything clicked...I suddenly had the place to myself and MOM is still less the wiser...

Checkmate...game, set, MATCH, heh, heh, heh...

We then turned back to watching the city go by...approaching the theater district, we saw long lines and crowds for "The Color Purple" and "Mama Mia", then the sidewalks filled up with tourist and other people enjoying the day at Times Square...we even saw the Naked Cowboy performing for a crowd of onlookers and photographers.

We finally got off the bus and made it to theater by 1:50pm, mom brought herself a hot dog and we got our seats. Seeing the first 5 minutes this time I saw how Ryan Reynolds and Ray Liotta were good pals which was why Reynolds flipped out the way he did at the end. MOM of course though the movie was insane, but liked Alicia Keys and Common's bit parts.

We took the A train home and MOM still tried to ask me something, but I decided to give my new Noise Reducing Earphones a try...They're very effective...but now I;m being SUPER extra careful when crossing the street. (I don't think I'd hear a car coming towards me...)

Once home, I hit the net, read some blogs, downloaded Joss Stone's latest album, tried to organize the hard drive a bit more...

We springing forward the clocks early this year, which makes sense considering the lack of snow this winter. Pfft! Pretty soon the coats will come off and spring will be busting in on us...things should be nicer by then.