Wasting time with Jet

It's just something about me and job interviews...

Yesterday, I was SO prepared.

Sunday I had gotten a nice haircut, I brought some crisp resume paper from staples and I had this cool Resume Maker program installed to help me AND MOM do some magic.

The only thing I had to do monday morning was get my shirt and slacks from the Dry Cleaners and print some new copies that the software made of my resume...THAT'S IT!

Anyone wanna guess what went wrong?

I get my clothes at 10:30, jump in the shower and wash up at 11.

I approach Mom's busted ol' PC and the Leximart 3-in-1 Copier, scanner, printer I got Two Years Ago..."

I've been using the damn thing to print my "Catalog" of movies I sell on the job (It's in the presentation). It was taking up a lot of ink thou, so I brought a replacement cartridge as well.

I call up the spiffy new resume and get ready to print. I had 3 pages left of ink so I decided to install the new one first...

I put it in and closed the lid on the printer and an error message started to come up when I turned it on...

"Cover Open"

I couldn't understand it, the lid was down, everything was secure...

I thought maybe the ink cartridge was loose or sticking out, so I checked everything again...nothing sticking up, I close the printer and the error message was back...

"Cover Open"

It's a little after 11:15, now...my interview was at 1:30, I needed to leave the house by 12, 12:30 the latest...

My mind started to PANIC a little...

I thought about my own printer in my room, but the damn thing has had alignment problems due to having the wrong cartridge inserted...I should have brought correct ones for THAT one, too...

I couldn't believe this was happening...

I tried to be calm, I kept working and banging on the machine, trying to make it close or lock...

Nothing was working. I couldn't begin to comprehend...

I tried to go the Leximart website, nothing there on what to do...

11:30 rolled on by I became a raving maniac! I was halfway ready to SMASH the printer with a sledgehammer!!! I started slamming the thing over and over again, I broke the top lid off it's hinges! I Ripped out the lil arm-stick thing that holds the lid up like the hood of a car...

I was in complete Homer Simpson mode!

11:45, I gave up and decided to just go with the few copies I had from the Library Job Interview back in November...

I start to throw my clothes on and...

My cell rings.

It's Miss Philadelphia and she jus wanted to chat for a bit...

Can you say "Honey, this is REAL bad Time right now..."?, apparently, I Couldn't.

We're goin thru the motions here, and as usual thing are looking bleak on that end as well, (What'd you expect, a happy ending?)...She's going thru a lot right now, and wants to be alone, yadda, yadda, yadda...like SHIT is all Spring Time FRESH on MY END!!

I "Un Huh", and "Um Hmmm" a full 15 minutes when she finally ends the call.

It's going on 12:40pm now...I can't BEGIN to tell you how petrified I am.

I finally leave the house, go on down to St. Nicholas and walk to the 1 train station...where I get stopped from those Marketing Reps trying to get people into Health Insurance...

"Hey, you don't recognize your former supervisor anymore?" The guy says to me.

I looked closer and it was Agustin Prado my boss from Enrollment back at Community Choice up in Yonkers!

He was working in my OTHER firm, HEALTHFIRST now! What are the odds!?!?!?

I couldn't help to get into a chat and bring him up the speed on what happened with all the office politics that went on. Prado had gotten fired because of this soulless bytch named Eve had migrated her way up to Community Choice AFTER fucking up and getting fired from Healthfirst! It was uncanny, it felt like she was following me and destroying firms everywhere she went like "Unicron" from Transformers or "Galactius" the planet-eater from Fantastic Four...

I told Prado that Eve's incompetence finally got the best of her and she got fired from Community Choice months after she took over. The damage she did was irreparable and more ignorant figure-heads followed in her wake, in the end, it was too much for me...and now, 3 years after I left and 4 after Prado, the company folded and is no more.

Prado was so much an influence on me, I planned to use his name for one of the characters in my TV Show...

I told him I was thinking of getting back in Enrollment and if they have positions to see if he could pull some strings.

"Management wasn't for me, why not get into Marketing? Make yourself 100,000 dollars a year?" he asked?

I smiled, "It's not for me..." I answered. I took his card and said, I'd be in touch, I then decided to pass over one of the few resumes I had on me. I couldn't help but think it was fate that brought me out here to meet him today...

By the time I ACTUALLY got to the train station, it was 12:55...

I didn't have a prayer.

I needed to get to 50th Street, then walk down to 46th. The 1 train has all those local stops...

I didn't get down there till 1:30 on the dot. My stomach was twisted in knots by now. Part of me didn't even wanna make it to appointment...just turn around and call them back with a believable lie...like a Death in the Family or something...

But I kept on walking. I was on the edge of Times Square, lots of loud shops and tourists traps around, I guess it would be kinda fun working around here...

I get the place, check in with the security guard and take the elevator to my floor.

I took one last sigh and prayed...

When I stepped off, I was expecting a fancy hi-tech, sophisticated lobby...

...but saw a jagged maze of warehouse storage!

The place looked like a loft, with boxes EVERYWHERE!

...Just like the hallways to our office right now!

The place was huge, I was told they had the whole floor, but you step off the elevator and all of the sudden you're out in the open!

There was no desks or anything, jus different paths leading to offices and cubicles...

I walked by the restrooms (Least they're easy to find) and saw a couple of people walking thru coming from lunch...

They completely ignored me.

"My god, I could be a serial killer coming in to shoot-up the place and no one would notice!" I thought!

I finally caught someone's attention and told them who I was meeting, they led me to an office and no one seemed perturbed by my lateness (1:40, for the record).

We talked about my work history, they took notes on the copy of my resume I submitted online. I told them how the work fluctuates and we get these 4 hour work days when there's nothing...

They told me that their workers are GUARANTEED their 35 work week, no matter what. In the event of a dry spell, the people sit there and read a newspaper or a book.

I believed I heard Angelic Chords in my head at that moment.

BUT, you never clap after the first magic trick...I needed to know more.

We exchanged questions and formalities and then I filled out a form okaying a background check and that was it...

No forms, no id, no EXTRA RESUME!

No sweat...right?

Geez.

For what I went thru this morning, they better offer me no less than 10.50 for my troubles! I hear 8, 9, 9.50...I'm staying my ass RIGHT where I'm at! (Maybe)

I just couldn't believe I drove myself crazy for nothing!

I walked up to 59th Street and brought two HP ink cartridges for MY printer and got back home by 4pm.

I looked at that damn Leximart printer again...

Damn, piece of shit!...I guess you get what you pay for. Rest assured, I'm NEVER buying anything from THEM again.