Wasting time with Jet

These are images from our past...



John-John at Daddy's Funeral.

...Images that have been associated with tragegy...


Rodney King.

...that will forever stay in our hearts...


Waco, Texas.

...And today, I submit my own personal offering...


Me after completing my move back in with my mother...

Al Bundy eat your heart out...

It happens everyday...

A guy goes to Vegas on a company trip. Blows the corporate account on blackjack spliting a pair of tens, fails to seal the deal with the client, goes back home in shame and gets fired.

...bad things happen to everybody...

A Grade-A student gets a "C" on his english thesis for the first time ever, after excelling in every subject all his life, the student is ill-prepared for failure and commits suicide.

...everyday...

a 78 year old man on his way to his grandson's 9th birthday falls victum to a Hit-and-Run accident while waiting at a busy intersection.

...Then why the FUCK do I feel like I'm the only ONE?!?!?!?

"Where did I go wrong?"

I'm in the final steps of cleaning this place out and packing everything up to move back home with my mother and I find myself asking that same question.

I'd thought everything would be cool after the bankrupcy two years ago. No 7 credit card bills to pay, no more nickeling and diming, no more odd jobs to make ends meet...what did I do to deserve this?

Everything's falling apart around me and all I can do is watch. I feel like Russell crowe in "The Insider" during that scene in the hotel room...He's just sitting in a chair, totally defeated, then the painting behind him fades into a backyard, where he sees his two daughters playing. A lot of people thought his chracter, "Jeffery Wigand" was going to commit suicide in that scene, crowe played the scene off so well, you can't help to feel this average joe's pain as he was getting screwed over by the tobacco industry.

Yeah, that's where I'm at now...

Sitting alone, just as I was when I first moved in. Indy at my mom's house, getting adjusted. Everything's all packed. My last meal, same as my first when I moved in...A medium deep dish cheese pizza from dominoes. The only thing still plugged in is the TV and my computer.

Tomorrow morning, the movers will come, and I'll be on my way.

I've made arrangements to have a dial-up account waiting for me when I get over to mom's I probably won't surf much, just use the internet to find a job, and such.

I'm still going try to read my fav. blogs, and try to update mine, but don't bet the farm on it.

It's funny, when I started this thing, I gave it only three months...

pretty fuckin' ironic don't ya think?

"You once was a Man, now you're just a Mess"

(Betcha can't guess where that quote is from, here's a hint: It's from a classic cartoon in the late 80's)

I made 3 runs back and forth taking clothes and minor items to mom's house today. I'm doing everything I can to make the move easy as possible, thursday. Mom thinks I'm crazy doing this and feels the movers should move everything themselves, "That's what they get paid to do!" she whines. I'm just crazy like that. The trips did tire me out, but I just chucked it up as exercise (Call me Mr. Incredible!). I plan to take Indy in a kitty carrier tomorrow along with his things so he can get used to the place. I then finished packing all my VHS tapes and worked on the junk in the kitchen before dinner.

I shifted through old papers that weren't orginized even before I moved. I found an old pink piece of paper with a name and telephone number on it. "Who the hell's Samyra Rivera?" I asked aloud to no one. I went to searchbug.com and did a reverse lookup on the number...once I got the address, it hit me like a ton of bricks...

Spring 1992...Junior year in High School.

She was a freshman, shoulder length hair, dimples, barely spoke english, she used to say "yellow" and it sounded like "Jello"...Oh my god she was pretty. I only saw her in one class...what the hell was it? "Seqential Math 3?". She had a thing for Jon Secada...I remeber mousing up my hair and memorizing the words to the spanish version of "Just another Day"....I actually sang the whole song with a tape player backing me up in the hallway after class. She was speechless, I then asked her out and her two older brothers, Francisco and Carlos came outta nowhere and beat the hell outta me, and threw me down the 3rd floor back stairwell! I came to and that piece of paper was in my hand...

God.

I can't believe I kept it all these years.

She WAS cute, not "Getting my ass kicked" cute, but still...

I wonder what's she doing now? I never went to any of my High School reunions...the 10th year reunion was 2 years ago...I REALLY hated high school.

After resting a bit, I went to the next biggest task to do...taking the AC out of my window. I had to for 3 years now, and even though it wasn't allowed in mom's high-rise, I wasn't about to leave it to the next fella to enjoy it! Now, I'm no Tool Man, but I do consider myself a "Man-at-Arms" type. If I can do it, I will do it. I just don't do VCR's and Computers, but other home improvements, I depend on nobody. The screws were rusty and needed some juicing up. I didn't have any WD40 so I improvised with some Tinactin foot spray. I had forgotten how heavy the might beast was, but with my best sly stalone grunt, I detached the beast from it's window prison. MY hands were dirty and my body was starting to feel sore, so I took a hot shower to relax.

Looking at everything now, undoing my changes to this place, it takes me back to how proud I was, fixing this place on my own...

Well, I made it this far (*Sighs*), I'm almost ready, the day after tomorrow, THE END begins...

I awaken again by the sound of water pelting on a hard surface and realized that it was actually raining this time, so I went back to sleep. I woke up a few hours later pissed becuase I really wanted to run some errands today. I wanted to go to ConEd and inform them to cut my gas and light service effctive April 1st. I wanted to take some clothes to mom's house, she got my room all emptied out and ready for this week.

According to the weather report, today was the only day of bad weather, the rest of week promises to be beautiful. I spent the day packing all my VHS tapes in a storage bin and few other boxes. I put aside my VHS tapes of Music Video collections by Bjork, A Tribe called Quest and PM Dawn and looked at them one last time as I was packing. Despite all this packing, I don't think it's sunk yet what's hapening. I mean, I may have accepted it, and I acknowledge it, but I'm still like in a trace over the whole thing. I just know I'm gonna crash real hard thursday morning when the movers get here. I can see myself hyperventalating or something and pulling a Bill Murray in "What about Bob?"..."Hi, my name is Les, could you do me a favor and just knock me out..." I'll have to ask the movers to to stun me with a tazer and carry me in the truck, too or something...

IN a desprate cry for help (and attention) I decided to compile a list of "What I'll miss/Won't I miss" when I leave my studio and move back in with my mom...

WHAT I'LL MISS...

*The ability to walk around naked.
*That assurance that I can go anywhere at anytime without explaining myself.
*The peace and quiet of being by myself.
*The ability to walk around naked.
*Watching softporn on Cinemax at night (I never tire of watching "Lord of the G-Strings")
*Blasing gwen stefani's "Hollaback Girl" at 2am to fuck with my neighbors.
*Checking my own mail (Mom always checks it and drops off my stuff...)
*The ability to walk around naked.
*The freedom to call an escort for Outcall service (Not that I actually DO it, but just the freedom that I could!)
*Walking down the street with a sweater and my grandpa slipers to the corner store to get a quick bite to eat.
*Did I mention walking around nekkid?

WHAT I WON'T MISS

*These damn fucking neighborhood kids playing baseball in front of the building!
*These kids yelling to each other from windows across from each other, use a phone for christ sake!
*The fucking Yankees, their loud ass stadium, and their sick, drunk, yuppie Coming-here-from-Long-Island-or-New-Jersey-'cause-they-don't-have-any-team-of-their-own-way-out-there Fans!
*My upstairs neighbors.
*Whoever the hell is blasting Eminem 6 hours straight during the day.
*The subroof, everyone's garbage and those stupid kid's baseballs landing right in front of my kitchen window, what a nice view!
*A slumlord and his knucklehead super taking 6 weeks to fix anything that goes wrong in this building.
*The lousy kid practicing his recorder every tuesday night when I'm watching "House". Yeah, all that pratcice and you still sound bad!
*The other lousy kid playing the Tuba Saturday mornings. You don't sound better either, pal!
*The fucking dog howling in the building across the street. The son of sam wouldn't even like you, ya mutt!
*The lousy bathroom plumbing...anybody ever heard of turning on the hot water in the SHOWER to get hot water in the SINK?!?
*These neighborhood kids in general, for doing everything they do!
*The bugs! Never had any mice, roaches, or flies, but how the hell do these ants, spiders and waterbugs get here!?!?!?
*The rent, tell me, what kind of world are we living in where the rent can go from 500 to 737.00 a month in just four years? FOR a STUDIO!

Yeah, it sounds like I hated it here, but it was mine...

I went through 2 blackouts, 3 serious heatwaves, it took 2 years just to get a refrigerator that actually kept things cold, a hot water leak allowed steam to darken the walls, the bathroom had to re-tiled, the celiling in the kitchen collapsed from water damage twice, a patch of ceiling in the living room above the radiator softens every winter, the subroof NEVER gets cleaned...this place would have made Tom Hanks and Shelly Long say "Damn" (The money pit). But it was mine (sighs) and it's gone.

Gee, I feel so much better now...

"Ahh, home crap home!" (Tom Hanks in "The Money Pit")

I woke up at 8:10am this morning to a faint sound of water splashing on a hard surface. My first instinct was it was raining yet again, but I slowly realized it was coming from inside the house! I jumped out of bed and ran to my bathroom. The ceiling was leaking again, and there was that sound of a infant laughing and splashing in a bathtub with the water still running. A puddle was developing right in front of my toilet. Any other time, I'd just get a mop and a bucket, but I was still furious with my upstairs neighbors for those tresured magazines that got warped (For TYRA gaddamn it, for TYRA!!). SO, fueled with anger and common sense out the window, I grabbed my bathrobe and my baseball bat and flew out of my apartment and stormed upstairs to the third floor. I knocked on the door politely (Because knocking hard only scares these people and they don't even respond.). "Who is it?" a female voice asks. "It's your downstairs neighbor, could you open the door, please?" I said with a restrained calm voice. She opens the door as gasps. I'm standing there in my bathrobe, but my belt is missing, and I didn't feel the need to hold it closed. I did however cover my privates with the baseball bat, holding it close in front of me like a cane. My man boobs and hairy chest may have scared the woman into slaming the door so I spoke quickly and clearly..."Miss, I have put up with your child splashing in the bathtub and your faulty illegal installation of a washing machine for 5 years now, and after 5 years I'm leaving this retched place to move back in with my mother! Now I only have 6 days left before I leave so do you think you can keep you kid in check for just one more week, please!" She nods her head quickly, her face still full of shock. I then, take a moment to close my robe with my hand and say, "Thank You" and walked back downstairs before she closed the door.

10:30am I'm looking at a cool new episode of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (With my fav. supporting chracter in a guest spot, Samurai Rabbit, Usagi Yojimbo!) when I get a knock on my door. It's the super...

Super:"The Lady in 3A says you came to her apartment..."
ME:"Yeah, her kid was flooding the bathroom again, water was leaking from my ceiling!"
Super:"You know when that happens, you come to ME and then I check it out."
ME:"It's pissed me off and I couldn't find you."
Super:"She says you were naked"
ME:"I had on my bathrobe."
Super:"And you threaten her with a baseball bat."
ME:"She was wrong about me being naked and now you believe her about a bat?"
Super:"She said she saw your...THING"
ME:"Was she impressed?"
(Super gives me a look)
ME:"I guess not"
Super:"Look, just come to me next time, okay?"

I wanted to say "Ain't gonna be a next time!", but I just nodded and said "I-ight" and closed my door.

Before the super came I was thinking about that scene in "Down and Out in Beverly Hills" when Little Richard was bitching to police about their response time when someone white calls 911. I think that's what I probably looked like upstairs.

I though I held the bat at the center...Ah well, the head may have peeked out on the right, It has a tendicy to slouch...

Anyways, back to Ninja Turtles...

Six more days, just six more friggin' days...

Alright enough of the mushy stuff, back to reality.

Well, it's done.

Booked the time with the movers, got permission from mom's building, it's offical...after five years of freedom, it all ends next Thursday, March 31st, 2005.

Now, it's just a matter of boxing my life away...

I stood in the middle of my tiny "Batcave" and took some pics...




All those books...That bookcase is just about the height of Yao Ming. Here's a shelf by shelf breakdown....

TOP SHELF:Adult Literature (out of the reach of little children!), Blue Moon novels, Claiming of Sleepling Beauty Trilogy and my valued Garfield books collection.

SECOND SHELF:Star Trek:Deep Space Nine Companion, Star Trek Encyclopedia, Zane Novel collection (More freaky books), Graphic Novels of The Boondocks, Foxtrot, Calvin & Hobbes, JumpStart, and Cowboy Bebop Magma. James Howe's "Bunnicula & Friends" children's books collection.

THIRD SHELF:Robert B. Parker "Spenser" Novels & James Patterson's "Alex Cross" Novels.

FOURTH SHELF:(African-American Fiction) Books by:Walter Mosley, Gary Hardwick, Hugh Holton, Gar Anthony Heywood, Robert O. Greer, Valery Wilson Wesley, and Grace F. Edwards.

FIFTH SHELF:Janet Evanovich "Stephanie Plum" Novels, Dennis Lehane's "Kenzie & Gennaro" Mysteries, and Phillip Margolin novels.

BOTTOM TWO SHELFS:Generic reference books and movie scripts to keep the cat from crawling in.

The DVD's in my closet are also massive (Too many to list, though), and yes those are J.Lo and Carmen Electra posters and the clock between them is stuck on 9:56 because the battery died and I just didn't wanna replace it.

YES I am collecting the US State Quarters, I have a subscription to get them all from the US Mint.

The Black Eyed Peas calendar was a late call, I normally have a Garfield calendar (Except in the year 2000 when I picked a "Futurama" Y2K calendar!) and I couldn't find one. When the Eagles went to the super bowl, I really wanted to get a team calendar, but couldn't find that either, so I had to settle.

Below is a picture my cat, Indiana...



Enjoying my chair as his scratching post and perch.

God am I going to miss this place...

After taking the pics, I took some basic clothes over to put in my closet. I'm taking little stuff over the next few days so the big move can quick and easy as possible.

I stayed with mom the afternoon as she planned Easter Sunday with my sister and my Niece. They fought over an outfit for my niece that morning. Mom picked it out, but my sister took it back becuase it was too small. My sister gave me my spare set of keys which meant she knew I was moving back in with mom (I had asked her to keep her in the dark as long as possible!), we didn't get any time alone so I could ask her for her reaction to the news (I'm sure she's going to gloat as soon as she can!). Too cool things off, I rented some movies. Me and mom watched "The Ladykillers" with Tom Hanks and I got my little niece "Shark Tale" to look at in the living room. After I got the movies, my sister ditched my niece with mom to get her hair done. Mom was natually pissed becuase this meant she was going to babysit the whole weekend. The original plan was my niece to spend the night Saturday, so she could go to church Easter Sunday, but as usual, my sister found a way to drop her off for the entire weekend.

JOE drove up to our neighbood to check on his family (We all used to live in the same hi-rise.) after work and he then offered me a ride home. He wanted to have a guy's night out, but his wife changed her mind and stayed in town. I told him about next week and he agreed that something must be done to have a proper send off. Nothing too freaky cuz he's married of course, BUT something!

I checked the mail when I came in and found my refund check from City University over the canceled Quickbooks class. I have some devilshly, impure plans for some of that cash...

Loki: The last four days on Earth. If I had a dick, I'd go get laid. But we can do that next best thing.
Bartleby: What's that?
Loki: Let's kill people.
[Lady next to Loki spits out her coffee]
Loki: [to lady] Oh, not you.
(Matt Damon and Ben Affleck in "Dogma")

My Niece...She may be a pain in the neck, but she's my little easter bunny...

Being an uncle is not half bad...

"HAPPY EASTER"

Me and my cousin in VA last christmas. We didn't see each other for about 5 years and while talking christmas morning we found out we both have all his CD's. What are the odds?

I called her tuesday evening after I brought my copy of "Hotel" and gave her the 411. (Aparently she hasn't been checking her emails that I've been sending the last couple of months!). I even sent her the tour schedule! VA is his first stop on April 11th!

*SIGHS*

Cousins are so cool.

So, I'm preparing for the move now (Stage 5:"Acceptance") and I'm turing my place upside down to put everything in boxes, or just throw it away wondering why the hell I kept it in the first place!

I've gone through a few emotional states that have been triggered by various things in the last 48 hours...

*I've found clothes in my closet that no longer fit me, clothes I've loved, clothes that looked good on me.

*A upstairs neighbor's water incident 3 years ago warped a hidden box of tresured magazines! (The first 10 issues of JFK Jr.'s magaizne "George", classic EW's (Entertainment Weekly's), Sports Illastrated magzines of all six Chigago Bulls championships!, That one issue of XXL with Lil' Kim on the cover, and the GQ with Tyra Banks on the cover! (SOBS) I was so close to taking my baseball bat upstairs!...No jury would convict me!

*I've been looking at old VCR tapes of movies and TV show I was obbessed with back in the day check it out...
*The entire 1st season of "Samurai Jack" ("Watch Out!")
*Three 4 hour tapes of "Animaniacs" ("NARF!")
*The "Clone Wars" Mini-Series (Just in time for Ep. III)
"The Black Hole" (Classic Sci-fi movie!)
"Heavy Metal 2000" (Not as good as the original, but still cool)
"The Watcher" (Keanu kicks ass as a villan!)
"Snatch" (The recorder music in this movie is great!)
"Formula 51" (Definately the "Dog's Bollocks")
"The Art of War"
"The Mothman Proecies" (Richard Gere channels his Inner "Fox Mulder"...I believe in the Mothman, man!)
"The saint of Fort Washington" (That used to be my nickname back when this movie came out, 'cause I was such a do-gooder)
"The Insider" (Michael Mann genius...the best reason to stop smoking cigarettes)
"Drive" (This movie is SO cool, the star, Marc Dacascos is like THE most under rated martial arts star in the world!, he may have been toned down for "Cradle 2 the Grave", and "Brotherhood of the Wolf", but this is him at his best, it also stars "8-Mile's" Brittany Murphy with dark hair!)
"In too Deep" (This is LL Cool J's best film, he plays a gangster so bad, they call him "GOD".)
"The Boondock Saints" (Just in time for St. Paddie's Day, an instant classic viglante flick featuring 2 irish brothers...Where the 'ell's Da Sequel?)
"Ninja Scroll" (The original movie, classic anime, that went to the well to many times when they did a series based on it.)
"LILY C.A.T." (Another cool anime, liked it the first time when it was called "ALIENS")
"Cowboy Bebop:The Movie" (The movie where I got the name of my Blog. A great in-between chapter of the cult classic anime series that DEFINED cartoon network's "Adult Swim".
(Whoo!, that's a lot of movies!)

*I also found my answering machine tape with the 18 stored messages I recieved on September 11th. Everybody thought I was dead becuase I worked 3 blocks south of the World Trade Center...I've only listened to the entire tape once because it so emotional.

*Finally, I was furious to find out that famous comedian Mitch Hedberg was at Caroline's Comedy Club this whole past weekend (18-20) and I missed him! Mitch Hedberg! To quote Sideshow Bob, "You only get ONE chance with Mitch Hedberg!". I own both his albums, I catch his bit on "Comedy Central Presents" all the time and I missed the chance to see him in person! A jackie chan kick to the balls wouldn't hurt me as much as this!

So, it's tuesday morning, now...and I'm hunting for boxes. Moby's new album "Hotel" comes out today, I'm going down to Borders to get it and meet JOE for lunch. I got an idea from another blog to to take pics of the place as I'm cleaning it up, I'll try to post them later on this week so I can look back on what I'll be missing (contained *SOB*).

Till then...


Brain:"Pinky, are you pondering what I'm Pondering?"
Pinky:"Uh, I think so, Brain, but why would anyone wanna PIERCE Bronsan"

"United States, Canada, Mexico, Panama..."

I tear myself away from bed at around 11am. After breakfast and a long shower to wake up, I headed downtown at 1pm. There was a meetup meeting for Bjork fans in the tri-state area. Bjork for those of you who don't know is an energetic little pop singer from iceland who is known worldwide as "The crazy chick who wore the swan dress at the oscars". Her music falls in the line of Pop, Trance, or Dance. She's know for her unique music videos and has even acted in her first and only film, a musical called "Dancer in the Dark". She also performed at the Summer Olympics during the opening ceremonies. I am an dedicated fan of her music, and it would be nice to meet other fans out there like me.

The meetup was supposed to be at the cafe in the Virgin Megastore at Times Square. Normally I wouldn't be caught dead around that area unless I was looking for a hard to get album or some sort of import single. The place is a tourist trap. Congested sidewalks, slow walking, slack-jawed out-of-towners that just make you wanna pull your hair out. I get the store a little before 2pm, make my way towards the cafe. No signs or banners on a table, no groups of people in a corner. I figure I got there a bit early so I find a stool along a long table and a waitress comes up to me demanding I order something! I don't drink coffee or tea, so I didn't know what to say. I asked for hot chocolate (Even though today was kinda warm) and I got a face, they didn't serve hot chocolate. I then lied and said I was waiting to meet a blind date, she told me to either order something or wait in another part of the store outside of the cafe. I ordered a 4.95 blueberry muffin and waited 20 minutes while the Extra from the movie "Clueless" watched me like a hawk. I took one last look around and then left.

There was another meetup at 3pm that I considered for backup. It was at the skyline Diner on 34th street. This meetup were for Comic Book fans. I haven't collected comic books since the 90's I have a pretty impressive collection that I've been trying to sell for quite awhile. I wasn't too excited on this meetup though, I have chickened out a few times for no particular reason due to my social awarkness. I'm just scared of meeting new people thinking I won't fit in. Bjork fans are one thing, but Comic Books...I'm just out of touch. In a way, I probably knew that no one was going to show up for the Bjork meetup, and that's why I tried to go. As I arrived near the diner, my feet started to get lead in them. I got pretty close to the door...and then turned and kept walking by like some "Runaway Bride"! I stopped behind a mailbox and just stared at the entrance for a few minutes. Willing myself to walk in, my legs just couldn't do it. When I RSVP the meeting, I should of left a message saying "I'll be the guy hiding behind the green mailbox down the street!", yeah I'll do that the next time there's a meetup there.

After realizing that I wasn't going in the diner, I walked around to 34th Street and 7th Avenue. I can't believe what a wimp I am. It's almost hard to believe what I did the last time I was around this area. So, walking around and enjoying the nice weather had me wishing I brought my digital camera with me, today. I headed back uptown around 5 and chilled the rest of the evening. I wish I had the nerve to start my own meetup group. One for moby fans, maybe, or something else that'll help me meet new cool people I can relate to. But seriously, what are the odds of that!!?!?!

Okay, so after that REAL depressing wake up call, I spruced up the place and thought about what I'm going to take and what I'm going to junk. I packed up my non-functioning PS2 and a few games and a controller to give to JOE. He's been opening VCR's, TV's and computers and jury-rigging machines since he was 12. He'll probably fix the damn thing , add wheels and put a spoiler in the back while painting racing stripes on. I kept my light gun and simpsons games, along with trivia pursuit and outlaw golf 2 because I'm confident I'll either get another PS2 (A thin one!) or the Playstation 3 when it comes out hopefully this year around christmas.

I spent the rest of the afternoon writing and waiting if any job offers would come my way. I'm pretty much past the point of no return on the job front after this week. Starting monday, it'll be about talking to the landlord, finding some movers and severing all the ties to this place (Utilities, cable, phone...). After no phone calls all day, at 6pm I headed down to Wall Street to deliver the PS2 to JOE and we barely made 7:40pm screening of "The Ring 2". JOE being late as usual, we missed all the trailers but one. A lame looking Wes Craven thriller called "Red Eye".

"The Ring 2" scored high points on the scare-o-meter, but I was kinda disapointed with the story. Part one ended with a lot of questions and elements that they could of used for this sequel (Like the Noah's Video Editing Assitant.), but they went in another directon. The movie did fill in some of the blanks that were bugging me after the first film (like Samara's birth mother), but it also raised some other questions. Overall, if you don't overthink it and brace yourself for the scary parts, it was a fun movie. It's right up there with "Constantine" for best of 2005 so far...I'm sure "Sin City" will blow me away though two weeks from now.

Me and JOE parted ways after the movie, he had his long commute home, I wanted to check out some bookstores. I walked up past City Hall and Chinatown to Astor Place and browsed around Barnes and Noble looking for the latest Foxtrot Graphic Novel ("Orlando Bloom has ruined Everything", Foxtrot by Bill Amend is one of the funniest comic strips in the newspaper today). But I couldn't find it. I then walked up to Union Square and searched another B&N before giving up and going home.

I made it home a little before midnight and didn't stay up too late. Tomorrow I have two meetups that I'm going to try and attend and I needed the rest.

"Don't you understand, Rachel?...She never sleeps."

I woke up this morning and this is the first article I see on my Netscape home page...

First-born kids better off...

The article states that First-borns are usually the most sucessful and smartest in the family and here I am putting that theory to shame. I swear, I have fallen the lowest of lows, and I'm still sinking.

My sister is 25 and swears that I'm the freakin' Golden Child, the #1 Son, can't do any wrong, and here I am, preparing to move back in with mom, the ultimate humilation and now I see that article, first thing in the morning. Talk about kicking me when I'm down...

"I asked for a car, I got a computer. How's that for being born under a bad sign?" (Ferris Bueller's Day Off)

You remember the movie "Boiler Room"? If not, it's worth a nice saturday afternoon viewing. Great use of classic hip hop music, good narrative, killer dialog, and an intresting story. Without giving much away, the movie follows Giovanni Ribisi (He played Nicholas Cage's little brother in "Gone in 60 Seconds") as a guy who stumbles into the dark world of Wall Street by working for a brokerage firm selling fictional stocks and scaming people out of their money.

A term that stood out in the film was the nickname the stock brokers gave to a client that was easy to manipulate and had a lot of money. They called them "Whales". A "Whale" was someone with a lot of money and little brains to do with it. And that's what I feel like today...A big, fat, gullable, whale.

I got a call yesterday from a guy named MARK. To told me he found my resume on the internet (I'm going to mention which site, but my resume is on at least 4 major carrer sites anyway...). He told me that my skills were perfect for an "URGENT" indefinate temp assignment that his company had to fill by monday, the 21st "by the latest". He talked fast and used a lot of spin words to sell the job, but there was one problem...it was in White Plains. Westchester...why on earth would I go back working upstate? A year ago I left the Health Insurance company so I could work in the city again! To make things worst, there was still a bus strike going on between the bus line that links the bronx with westchester, the only way I had to go up there was the Metro North.

When this MARK guy called, I should of just explained that I was too far away, that no amount of money, would be worth the commute, declined politely and hung up the phone. BUT this guy was so damn good. He restored hope in me, that if I made it up there somehow, the job would be mine, and it would be enough to make it worth it. So, not knowing HOW I would actually get there, I agreed to a 1pm meeting.

SO I get up this morning and start out at 11am. The nearest station on the "White Plains" line was across town at Melrose. I get to the station to catch the 11:36 train that'll get me up to White Plains by 12:30. This station was deserted! Not a soul for yards in each direction. Do you know what it's like being the only living being in a wide empty place for a couple of minutes? The whole time waiting I was thinking, "Ya know, someone could come up and KILL ME and no one would know about it for hours, maybe even days!" It was scary as hell. I started talking to myself after awhile...

"Good morning Mister Phelps, your mission, should you chose to
accepted is to make it through the end of this voiceover. Should
you or any of your IMF operatitves be caught or killed in this
mission, the agency will disenvow any knowledge of your actions.
This message with self destruct in five seconds..."


The train finally shows up, and I'm off to Upstate New york, yet again. After recent advice, I wanted to do something diferent with this interview. I knew the minute I walk in, I'd be asked to do some paperwork, fill out forms and such. I wanted to go in brash and confident this time...along the lines as...

ME: "Good afternoon, my name is Les, I have an one o'clock appointment with MARK"

Receptionist:"Okay, Les, I need to see two forms of ID and just fill out these forms..."

ME: "Excuse me, miss...I don't mean to be rude, but it's 12:30 and I came all the way out here from the bronx. Please inform MARK that his 1 O'Clock is here, and he's here a HALF HOUR EARLY! I'd like to speak with him about the position and see if it's worth my effort, AND THEN I'll do your paperwork."

Receptionist (shaken):"Yes Sir"

ME:"Thank you."

That would be so against my character, it just might work!

I get to the building and I go the floor in question, I find the office and I step in...

Chaos.

The agency's waiting area is the size of a walk-in closet. There were at least 4 people waiting to be interviewed, and two more in a testing area. People are walking around everywhere like it's Times Square, I was so turned around, my confidence few right out the window. Apparently MARK had sold his pitch to at least 15 other people that had appointments today. The position in question was for medical coding and billing, and there were at least eight open positions at two sites in isolated hospitals far, far from public transportation. I did the paperwork, did the test, spoke to a female recruiter name SANDY who pretty much explained that with no car or any means to get to those two sites, I was pretty much wasting my time. She gave me the parting gift of a couple of timesheets and a booklet with the company history and tips of what to do while on assignment and false hopes of calling me if they get anything near public transportation, blah, blah, blah....thank you come again!

I got back home at 4:00 where I got a couple of more Bank of New York job offers from JOE's Executive Agency. One was in real estate, doing mortage applicaions, verfying documents and data entry. It sounded simular to the enrollment work and it was paying 14.00 an hour so I gave them the go ahead to pass my resume along (It's not like they called me on that other assignment they offered me two weeks ago!). I felt so stupid that I let MARK con me into wasting my time today, he probably gets paid on commission by every fool he gets to go up there. I am such a whale...

Well, there's still the document thing that REBEL gave me, but there's some issues with that too...but that's a story for another day. Now, I just feeling like swiming around looking for Ahab and Queequeg to do me in...

"Anybody who tells you money is the root of all evil doesn't fucking have any." (Ben Affleck in "Boiler Room")

I had a dream last night that my life was turned into an episode of "Frasier". I was Fraiser Crane and my mother was Martin Crane, and mom's cat, Peanut was Eddie the Dog. My sister was even in it as Niles. I had a wonderful date coming over and asked mom if she could spend the weekend at Atlantic City, and then so many things happened to ruin the date! I think I have been watching too much TV. Kelsey Grammer's Sketch show was funny sunday night on fox, but still, it that what's in store for me? To be some yuppie know-it-all living with my mother, fumbling through relationship after relationship trying to find ms. right? God, I hope not! I need to stop going to bed at 3am to prevent these crazy dreams.

At 1pm, I did a follow up call to the health insurance firm I interviewed for on the 3rd. The recruter told me they were still conducting interviews, which was probably their way of saying "Forget it, loser! Don't call back again!". Despite all this, I suddenly got in the mood to write! I finished an entire Act of EPISODE 4 and started a few more scenes afterwards. I even logged in some storylines for the 3rd Season. Thinking about my TV show idea made me think back to some news I heard. Baywatch babe Pamela Anderson is staring in a TV show called "Stacked" (get your mind outta the gutter) and apprently it takes place in a book store. Suddenly, I'm afraid that my Library Ensamble drama may be tainted if her show doesn't take off. I wanted to introduce something that's never been done (Even though, some might say a Library may be too boring a setting for something on TV.) now her show may mess that up.

So, I'm writing, I'm surfing the net for jobs, I take a break and unplug at 6pm. At 8, I get into this old movie "Playing God" with David Duchovny and Angelina Jolie. It's about some washed up doctor who lost his license (due to his drug habit) gets invoved with some crimelord wannabe played by Timothy Hutton. Duchovny's been growing on me lately, we me seeing that X-Files episode that I downloaded a few times and all. I think the guy's a little too into his own voice, thou. He lives to do voiceovers and narratives. The movie was all right, but what really stood out was the music. In one scene Duchovny and Hutton are racing cars on the highway and the music used in the background was the same used in the first Matrix movie during the gunfight! I always liked that song, but never looked it up, till now. It's called "Spybreak!" by a group called the Propellerheads (Sheesh what a weird name!). Five seconds after the movie ended, I'm on Kazaa and managed to get their one and only album..."Decksanddrumsandrockandroll". It's no moby, but it's different. Reminds me of the other out there music I used to listen to a few years back. Orbital, Underground, Gorillaz, and Spiritualized (You know, weird white boy music!). It's cool how a movie can get you into certain kinds of music. I got into Moby when I saw "Heat", I got into Bjork when I saw "The Professional", I even got into Seal when "Batman Forever" came out.

During the movie, MOM called me with some news. Her cousin, PATRICIA (which would make her my Second Cousin?) picked her up from jersey to shop and have dinner. PATRICIA works in corrections (It's a family thing, my aunt, some other cousins, I don't understand it.) and one of her co-workers just started a second job in document scanning at night. My mother mentioned my situation and through the chain of people from other people, PATRICIA got me an application for the job. There's a catch to this soap opera, the co-worker that works with my mother's cousin...I know her! (Small world, huh?) Her name is REBEL and we used to work for a lawyer's firm in document scanning around 8 years ago. We were good friends and there was a part of me that had a crush on her, but felt it'd be better if we stayed friends. Part of me is afraid to see her and show how father time's taken a billy cub to my gut (I was a little less chubbier then). The chance of seeing REBEL again is even more scarier than moving back in with MOM (It's nice to have something else to fear for awhile!) I don't know what I'm going to do.

Mom said she'd leave the application at her place where I can stop by tomorrow and pick it up. PATRICIA is then going to call me from her office (along with REBEL I guess...) to give me details on how to apply for the job. She said they have day and night shifts and the work seems indefinate (for now, yeah just like that other legal scanning job me and REBEL had!). I couldn't believe this was happening...It's like there's a glich in the matrix and I'm reliving the years 1996 & 1997 all over again! Someone find the red pill, I wanna wake up!!!!

"There's nothing I can do, this guy's been dead for quite a while now."
(Cocks Gun) "Fix Him"
(Nochalant) "Alright I'll see what I can do." (Duchovny in "Playing God")

A year ago today, a man walked in his miserable job for the last time, and said his good byes with grace, humor, and style. So, here today, on the 1 year anniverary of his freedom, he presents to you, a recreation of a company email sent to the 70+ fellow co-workers he had deal with for over two and a half years....

FROM:Les
TO:"Staff of Community Choice Health Plan (CCHP)"

SUBJECT: The Top 15...Cuz' "Top 10's are so lame...


Here now for your shocking pleasure....

After months trying to find a photo hosting site, I finally got the hang of putting pictures in post. So, here's the first of future pics of moi to pop up in the future....





It's a bit big, but it'll do for now...till I learn to crop and such.


It's been awhile since I dabbled in HTML.

more to come...

Well, the info in that last post has been the only good news I 've recieved this week. The people from last weeks interview never called me back, Wednesday afternoon, The executive staffing agency JOE referred me to called about an assignment at the Bank of New York (Where JOE actually works at!) to see if it was the kind of work I was looking for. I was told my resume would be forwarded to them and they would reply back by monday if I got the position.

They never called.

Which makes me almost wonder about my resume. I know no one's reading this (Well, actually my one and only reader has returned, so I know now, that at least 1 person is out there...) but I felt obligated to post my work history here for a different opinion...


OBJECTIVE: To work where I can use my experience to benefit the company and allow myself to grow. (Yeah I know it's corny, but it's all I got...)

EXPERIENCE:

GUARDIAN LIFE INSURANCE COMPANY OF AMERICA

4/2004-11/2004 Data Operator

• Prep Documents to be scanned
• Scan Documents for imaging database system
• Quality Checking for scanned documents


COMMUNITY CHOICE HEALTH PLAN

10/2001-3/2004 Enrollment Associate

• Determinations of Family Health Plus applications
• Procession and Referral of FHP/MA Eligible apps to LDSS
• Minor Customer Service duties over the phone
• Data Entry of Child Health Plus applications

HEALTHFIRST

8/2000-10/2001 Enrollment Representative

• Verification of Child Health Plus applications
• Determinations of health insurance benefit packages
• Data entry of Child Health Plus applications

CHASE MANHATTAN BANK

11/98-9/2000 Check Encoder

• Encoding Checks for the Department of Finance

DEBARI ASSOCIATES

8/97-2/99 Litigation support specialist

• Printing Company Mail and Memos from Outlook
• Scanning legal documents using Slipscan Software
• Coding important data of legal documents
• OCR Clean-up of coded documents

EDUCATION:

(2 Years) BERNARD BARUCH COLLEGE
Introduction to Business/C.I.S.

(I'm not revealing the exact time in case someone out there tries to look me up.)

(Graduated in 4 Years) SAMUEL GOMPERS VOCATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL
Diploma

SKILLS: Computer literate, Software experience: Windows 98 and XP, Excel, Word, WordPerfect, Dbase, Microsoft Access, HTML, Microsoft Outlook, Microsoft Access, Typing speed: 45 WPM, Numeric Data Entry: 9600, Alphanumeric Data Entry: 9000, Check Encoding IPH: 400, Document Scanning Threshold:12,000 per 8 hour shift.


See?, An expert in Document Scanning, slash Healthcare Enrollment Guru, who wouldn't hire me?!?! I live for Data Entry, entering records all day with no work politics, no drama, no one out to get me because they see me as a threat to their advancement, just put me behind a desk and pay me at least 14 dollars an hour, it that so fucking hard?!?! Apparently, it is.

Well, I've out of time, anyway. The lawyers at Legal Services called me finally. After comparing notes with my landlord, they found that I was trully behind on the rent by an accurate amount and had till the 15th to pay it all in full. I couldn't believe the lawyers made that agreement without my knowledge. I had no where NEAR the money to pay and they have not helped me with any grants or any kind of assistance due to my situation. A lawyer's aide had called me to inform of this and was suprised I didn't know. The aide told me if I had a job by monday, they could stall again, but by then I was convinced that I'd be moving back in with MOM. I told the aide to tell my reppresentative to make a deal with the landlord to have me move by the end of this month. The aide explained that if I didn't pay the money by the 15th, a new court date would be set, but it would most likely be in April! I told them I didn't want to wait till then, but their optimistic thinking wanted to wait and see if I got a job by then before doing anything.

Well, so much for that. These social workers are really a piece or work. They've done nothing but psychoanalyze me for their damn social science statistics and given me a false sense of hope while stalling for time thinking the problem was going to work itself out. And now, here I am, at the end of it all, preparing to make one of the worst decisions in my life. It's enough to make ya think.

All I did was sleep today, which is not good because I won't sleep tonight. (Maybe I should go somewhere after doing this entry...) I stirred up at 7pm and made myself dinner (or breakfast) and organized the place a bit, telling myself to do an inventory of all my stuff for the movers. I was going to use professionals this time, the first time I moved, I had a few friends help me. *SIGH*, I've been getting emotional lately, sitting in thise house all day from 9 to 5 waiting for a call, looking at daytime TV, downloading other TV shows, listening to depressing music, I'm really losing it. I dowloaded an old episode of "X-Files" I always wanted to see, an episode in the 7th season called "Closure". I wasn't a big fan of the show, but I heard that the episode used one of MOBY's most moving song from his album, "PLAY". Anyways, the episode had Mulder find out the truth about his sister who disappeared, it had been a major story arc in the series. So anyway, the finale of the episode had Mulder walking through this field at night in slow motion, while spirits of children play around like it was a playground during a school day. Then the song "My Weakness" played in the background. Mulder then sees his sister's spirit, still a teenager and she hugs him. The scene was so deep, I actually went to tears.

It's something about that song (It's going to be playing in my head for weeks now...), "My Weakness". It's been used a few times before. In the movie "Any Given Sunday", when Jamie Foxx makes the diving Over-the-Top Touchdown in the end, and in the Val Kilmer Tweaker Film, "The Salton Sea". Moby's a genius, his music is getting more and more exposure as it's used in film and televison. I even saw him on this week's episode of "The Apprentice", he's really trying to get out there and promote the new album. I've been searching to see if he's doing a midnight release party like he did for his last album, "18" (Which I went to, by the way!), but it doesn't seem like it's going to happen. Ah, well. Moby at Webster Hall will be awesome, probably better than the concert I saw at the Hammerstein, way back when. It's the only bright thing I'm looking forward to so far, because I know the next couple days are going to be hell for me.

Scully:"Mulder what happened?, Are you sure you're all Right?"
Mulder:"I'm Fine...I'm Free."

MOBY'S COMING TO WEBSTER HALL!!! ON STONER'S HOLIDAY!!! AAAAAAHHHHHH! I AM SO THERE! WEDNESDAY APRIL 20th, 2005

There is a god.

It snowed again today, and you know what?...I LOVE IT! Why? Because I'm at home going insane!!!(*Series of Daffy Duck hyperventalating Sound Effects*). This is crazy. If I were still working up in westchester, I'd be PISSED. The snow in the city is nothing compared to upstate AND the BEE-LINE buses that go up there are on strike! I would have had to take the Metro North to work and that would of costed me a pretty penny! So, I'm glad I ran when I did. This month will make it a year that I left, next monday on the 14th. My God what a difference a year makes!

So the snow didn't start till the afternoon, it was rain before, I woke up at 9:30am and took one look out the window and laid back down. Yesterday I got a call from a rinky-dink temp agency that found my resume on Monster.com. They had a lockbox assignment for chase bank starting soon and they wanted to know if I were intrested. I told them I was and they went on with the details and the requirements. Since it was a bank job, I had to be fingerprinted and drug tested, blah, blah, blah...I took down the address (around the wall street area) and they asked if I could be there at 10am. I agreed (not really thinking clearly) and then asked about the salary microseconds before they tried to end the call. They acted all dumb, thinking I wasn't going to ask and put me on hold for a second and then said it was for 8.00 an hour. I damn near dropped the phone. I knew instantly I wasn't going to wake up early the next day, take a train all the way down to the wall street area for a job that would earn me LESS than what I was reciving from unemployment, it didn't make sense.

So, I wake up, see the rain, think about the cheesy job offer, I go back to sleep. I then wake up at 11 ans start looking at back episodes of "Jack and Bobby" that I've downloaded. I love this show, I think Christine Lahti is kick-ass cool, and I like the whole concept of the show, having white house staff recollect "the future" events of an outgoing administration as we see "Boy who would be President" deal with being raised by a single mother and live with an over-achiever brother. As I'm looking at the show, I'm suprised how TV's gone slack with some of the profanity. I mean, now that NYPD Blue's gone, I'd never thought I'd hear "Dick" on TV ever. In the first 8 episodes I've heard it at least 3 times. It actually shocking, now.

Speaking of profanities, while I was catching up on "Jack and Bobby", I was looking to download the season premere of "Deadwood" all day. I know it's a cable show, but I had no idea how hard it would be to find a source. I tried Mirc Search Engines, WinMX, I even put on Kazaa Lite on my computer (After swearing Kazaa off forever due to it's spyware!). JOE called to check up on me. I finally swung by his place out in Long Island to say hi to the wifey and kids. The Baby JoJo is getting a little bigger, and the two older kids, Brandyn and Jada....weeeeell, they're children! I got to give the dude props, those kids would have me going "Bernie Mac" on their ass! Talk about "Bust 'em in the head till the White Meat show!". While the kids were running around the house, JOE showed me his computer with the DVD burner that I helped him configure the last 3 months. I had brought over with me episodes of "Lost", "Drawn Together", and "Medium" with the intention of making my own DVD collection of episodes with his new burner. But, the process took hours on hours to do, so I was only able to make a DVD for Drawn Together. I downloaded the season's episodes of LOST on his computer and asked him to start working on at least 3 DVD of LOST episodes (There was an issue of space per DVD blank and I didn't want to use all of his.). JOE said he'd try to get into the show as he was burning the episodes which was cool with me.

TV's starting to become way important in my life. All of the sudden, I'm getting into shows I wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole. Shows like "Buffy", and "Angel". I find myself tuning in saturday and sunday nights because I've caught the show right in a good starting point, right when it changed networks. Buffy coming back to life and such. I'm also getting into "That 70's Show", but the syndication schedule sucks because the 11:30 show is always in the beginning when Eric and Donna are getting started, and the 12:30am show is the 3rd or 4th season when they break up. I have too much time on my hands and I'm using it to watch TV.

As for my housing situation, I'm bracing myself for the worst, now. I definately believe by the end of March, I'm going to move back in with my mother. I slowly throwing away any junk that I can't or won't take with me. I'm also thinking back to my old jobs in the past as I rumage though old files and important papers. I came across an old picture of my grandfather today and realized that yesterday was his birthday. He died back in 1991 and me and the fam don't go to see him at the cemetary like we used to anymore.

The evening went on by as the snow picked up and then stopped at 10pm, I read some Blogs and checked out a few sites. I missed a Meetup meeting because of the snow. I have another one coming up friday, though. I plan to do some nightcrawling this weekend.

"In memory of John Leslie Smith

March 7th, 1917 - March 8th, 1991

Beloved Father and Missed Grandfather"

We shared more than the same middle name...

So, I wake up right? It's a little before 8am, and who do I see on the Today show? J to the HELL-OH!...The beautiful Miss Lopez performing live in the cold city streets of New York. Cool! I dig the whole dancin-with-the-cane Thing, but that clarinet loop on the hook gets annoying after 30 seconds. After breakfast and a shower, I head out early to pick up old trenchcoat from MOM's house. It's a very old school style coat that I usually wear on easter sundays, funerals or in this case, Job Interviews in the middle of winter. On the way back to the bronx I came across some weird billboards on the subway platform that had the words "Omnium Finis Imminet" printed on them. I then remember seeing a TV spot during last night's Law and Order that flashed the same message. What the hell did this mean? I knew it was latin, but I didn't know the translation. I was fixed on these billboards so much I missed a train going back home and had to wait 10 minutes for another.

When I got back to my neghborhood, I stopped by my usual barber for a shape up. My hair was a bit of a mess from the hatchet job by a lousy barber down at 145th street I got a few weeks ago. I got back at 12:30 and prepared for my interview at 3:30. I dug up my old job history to refresh my memory. I had my references lined up and their contact numbers, I'm was pretty sure this interview would be a cinch. I picked up my suit from the cleaners (thank god there were no problems there!) and left the house decked out at 2:20. After seeing more "Omnium Finis Imminet" billboards on the train ride down, I arrived at Union Square in no time. The city was brisk today, and my trench felt good over my suit. I always liked wearing a trench, it reminds me of Dick Tracy.

I arrived at the building for the interview early (Which is good, becuase normally I get to my job appointments right on time). I went in and did the routine paperwork and then waited, and waited, AND waited. To prevent from falling into a coma, I occupied my mind by checking out the place. I saw a punch clock machine on the wall indicating they had the same annoying Time-Card system to track your hours as my last healthcare firm did. The staff that went in and out through the lobby were casually dressed for a Thursday (thank god! I hate the whole "Shirt and Tie" flow!). The reseptionist was a complete and total @$$hole who looked like he didn't know what he was doing. After MORE waiting I finally met the Human Resources Recruiter. We talked about my work history, and then she explained the position in question.

The job seemed up my alley as an Enrollment Specialist, but there was a downside. Aside from usual enrollment duties, part of my job would be to manage their file room. That is keep track of all files accessed by other enrollment staff (Up to 15 people, which is unheard of!) and make sure they are kept in order. Now in the last two places I worked, they had file clerks to handle that. They wouldn't just merge both tasks on one person. And I was wondering with the other 15 enrollment staff members on the floor, did I have to keep track of every file they borrowed and make sure they'd bring back, or did I have to hunt them down in case something went wrong. It felt they were giving me too much responsibility, UNLESS I shared the file management tasks with at least two other people. I didn't want to be the only one in charge of working the file room WHILE doing the enrollment jobs of Data Entry and Eligibility. Natually, I didn't display my concerns to the recruiter, but I did asked a few questions about hours and salary that she didn't quite answer due to the fact that there were more applicants she had to review. (Ho-HUM!). I was told if they were intrested in me that I would hear from them next week and that was it.

I don't know why I expected something else? What where they gonna do? Say "Well this is swell, Les...can you start monday?". You go in every job interview thinking that and IT NEVER FREAKING HAPPENS! When I left the building with was quarter to 5, which means they had me waiting for over a hour! And for what?, "um, we'll see, check with us next week!, Bye!" What a fucking joke! I almost thought about my Quickbooks class that would had started today at 6:15. The interview didn't give me enough time to go home and change, so it's a good thing it did get cancelled. How cool would it be though to show up for a night class in a suit on the first day? So, I got back home by 6pm and natually MOM called to ask how it went and I told her. Since my mom studied latin, I asked her what "Omnium Finis Imminet" meant, she didn't know. (So much of cathloic school!)

While looking at Survivor I surfed the web and found out the phrase means "The End is Near." It was some kind of religious prayer talking about the apcolypse (damn can I get a spell check, here?). There were theories out there saying it's a publicity stunt for the new Tom Cruse movie "War of the Worlds", OR some TV Miniseries on NBC. Whatever it is, it causing more buzz than Godzilla did with all those crazy ads. I ended the night reading BLOGS and watching late night TV. I don't know what was worst, the fact that the interview was a washout or that I became obsessed with some latin phrase I read on the subway.

"Omnium Finis Imminet" (The end is near....S'yeah right!)

Yeah, I'm still here. And I credit to one thing and one thing only...SNOW! OH MY GOD!! Thank you LORD for creating SNOW! I will never curse the weather man again, EVER!

Lemme take you back a couple days...

Tuesday morning there was about 5 more inches of snow on the ground. I trudged my way to the courthouse by 9:30 and wait. Now, for some reason, I felt insanely optimistic. I don't know if it was the sex with call girl last Friday or the pending job interview I got Thursday, but all of the sudden, in my darkest hour...a glimer of light caught my eye and I was going to accept whatever happened that day and deal with it. So, I'm there with about 10 other people waiting for the landlord's lawyer to show. My contact from Legal Services was there and I told her my situation (About the interview and all that) and she said that was it was good to keep looking for work. If I can find something stable, I can buy more time and will recieve help to pay my back rent. My contact then asked me to produce proof of what I have been paying so far. I opened up my red manilla folder and whipped out a confetti full of Money Order reciepts (I NEVER THROW ANYTHING AWAY!). They were a bit out of order, but it was enough to show intent and challenge the trumped up amount my landlord's shady numbers was asking. Time goes by, it's 11am now, the court recesses for lunch at 1:30pm and everybody's being dealt with but me. At 12, I asked to see a social worker to kill time. I was asked various questions so Legal Services could provide a better case on my behalf. They asked why I quit my job in westchester, what were my relationships with family like?, health history, yadda, yadda, yadda. At 1pm I'm told the landlord and his crew are held up and the case is adjorned, again. I was told to go home and my contact would call me with the date my next appearence.

Today I had my 2nd visit with unemployment at 9am. I was there 10 minutes!, I gave them the list of all the places I sent my resume to, told them about my quickbooks class starting tomorrow and they said it was enough to "Keep the party goin'!". I get back home and then take my suit to the cleaners (I know I should of done this a couple of days ago instead of the day before, but I'm and idiot, remember?!?!). They assured me it would be ready by 1:30 Thursday afternoon. I come back home and chill. The place is clean and I have boxes everywhere, just in case I had 48 hours to move. I was a bit nervious all day. I didn't hear from Legal Services about my courtdate, I was afraid my phone was acting up again. I spent most of the day working on my TV Script and downloading episodes of "Jack and Bobby". After collecting episodes of Lost, Medium and Drawn Together, Jack and Bobby seemed next in line of "Shows I would look at if it wasn't for Other Shows". I usually catch the sunday afternoon replay, but I've been missing a few, and the show is really growing on me it's a shame it's on against The West Wing. I was looking forward to downloading the new season of "Deadwood" since I sacrificed my HBO for broadband.

3pm my phone rings, and my heart jumps out of it's chest for a few seconds. I pick up the phone, and it's someone from City College. My Quickbooks class was canceled due to small class size! Only a few people registered! I was getting my 295 dollars mailed back to me. I was devastated about the class (I told so many damn people about it!), however I couldn't help thinking how nice it would be to use that money for SOMETHING ELSE (wink, wink, nudge, nudge!). I surfed the web a little bit, applied for a couple of more jobs (just in case!), and checked out a new site dedicated to moby's upcoming album HOTEL. I checked out all the cool bells and whistles of the site, saw the new music video for his first single (Damn I miss MTV2!) read some info about tour dates, I hope he does another release party at Times Square, that would be so cool!

MOM calls me at 6:15 (five minutes before I was going to call her!) and we catch up on things. Without revealing too much of my situation, I hinted the possibliity of moving back in to help her out to see what kind of reaction it turn up and mom seem okay with the possibility. To her there'd be no shame in coming back, and it was help her as much as it would help me. We played about with the scenarios and them hung up in time for LOST. I couldn't help the simularities with the first five minutes of the episode. The big guy, Hugo Hurley living with his mother and her complaining about his weight (I was like, "Is this what MY future holds?!?!") and then when he won the lottery, I was like "Whoa, I hope so!".

After yet another cool episode of LOST and in the middle of a weird West Wing episode that I'll have to see the rerun of, JOE calls me and we talk for a bit. I gave him an update of my situation and we planned to get together at his place sunday. I just hope it doesn't snow again...OOPS, wait! Actually, I hope it does! Before going to sleep, I checked a few blogs. I'm kinda pissed no one seems to be reading mine, lately. Aside from 1 comment around my 3rd or 4th entry, I haven't had zilch, nada, bubkis! Ah, well...he's to the life altering day tomorrow! (Is it me, or do I face a life altering day everyday!)

"Look at us we're beautiful,

All the people push and pull but,
Let's just go out and ride,
Talk about the things we've tried"

("Beautiful" by MOBY from the upcoming HOTEL - out March 22nd, 2005)